Tag Archives: work

[all I know to do]

Yesterday whilst getting getting a lift from my sister
and recounting tales of the recent wedding that I
photographed and she commented that she was
happy that I was still keeping one foot in the photography
side of things. And that got me thinking. Photography
is pretty much all I know to do at times. It is my main
skill and what most [if not all] people associate me with.

For me to live my life and not be doing something photographic is
strange to me.

It’s just not going to happen.

And in a couple of weeks [or next week, I’ll check my diary] I’m
photographing my old photogrpahy tutor’s stepson’s wedding.
Now to add a little history, my old photography has kept in
contact with me even though college was years ago and gives
my weddings to photograph and work in general and has said,
and I quote

“This is Richard, one of my old students. And he takes
photographs better than I do”

Which to hear from your old tutor is pretty amazing. As you
probably know I have been doing photography since about
the age of Seven. But it was at college that I started to
pursue it. And Mike is a big part of that. Now I’m known as
‘Photo’ by many and like I said before alot of people know me
by photography. Doing anything else would be strange.

Oh and on that point I am going to be working on a
website soon for my photography. And maybe other
aspects of my creative life, like for instance my writing
and so on.

And one more point, and this is mainly for Savannah
[yourownpersonalmonster], I’ve decided to make that
book up and when it’s done I’ll put a link up. Gonna have
to make some new material up for it though.

[one day I will own this city]

We’ll get married in the morning.
So if it doesn’t work out we wouldn’t have wasted the day.

[it all started with a newspaper | part one]

My life at the moment and pretty much every
major thing that has happened in my life in recent
years is the result of my popping into my sisters
office and some unknown reason reading the
newspaper in 2005.

Now, back then this was pretty much an unknown thing,
me randonly popping into my sisters for one and reading
a newspaper for the other. Anyways whilst looking through
this paper I saw a job advertisement for a photogrpaher.

Now, although the job was based in Maidstone,
the interview was in Bromley. I had never been
to Bromley before so getting there was a bit of a
hassle [three very specific trains, on specific
routes, a lot more awkward than the route I later
figured out].

So I went for the interview and pretty knew there was no way I
was getting the job, they wanted somebody who was available
all the time and I was still at college. Ah well, but looking back
I do wonder how things would have been if I had got that job.

But anyway, I digress, upon leaving the interview
I had decided to have a walk around Bromley, seeing
as it was new and during my walk I happened upon
the Market Square branch of Jessops [a popular
photographic retailer] and thought that it would
do no harm to hand in a C.V to the shop.

This would turn out to be one of those of handed decisions that
would affect my whole life because, as it goes, I got an interview
.

Which I failed.

And to be honest I was kind of glad, it took two hours to get to
work and the journey seemed long and arduous to tell you the
truth. I really wasn’t up to it, every day.

Although a job at Jessops would have been much
better [and interesting that working at Mothercare]
and would have helped me as well seeming that at
the time I was studying Photography at college so
the money off things would have been awesome.

It was then that I was told that my C.V had been forwarded to the
other branch of Jessops that was based in Bromley, only this one
was inside the Glades  a shopping centre that I had missed upon
my first visit to the town [just so’s you know Jessops has shops
all over the country and that interview went as such,

Nash – “So you’re Richard then”
Me – “Yes”
Nash – “So what’s your shirt size then?”

One of the shortest interviews on record I am sure [about as sure
as I am that these things are rarely recorded]. So I left Mothercare
and started to work for Jessops and thats when things got
interesting.



A photo of me just after I started at Jessops, I would have
been about 18 or so years old.

I’ll continue this story from time to time, writing it all in one go was
quite daunting. So make do with just this bit at the moment, which
to be honest you should have figured from the title of the post.

Hopefully this will be the start of me using my blog again
and hopefully that’ll mean using Flickr, Tumblr, twitter
and all the other sites I’ve been ignoring.

[i’m in love with your daughter, i wanna have her babies]

Because when I got in from work today I
was stupid enough to get comfortable on
my bed and fell asleep for several hours.

So this meant that I wasn’t able to sleep
last night which is annoying as I’m up now
and I need to be at work in less than two hours,
so I thought that I would write a blog entry,
it has been a while. Hasn’t it?

First off, in regards to the previous post, and
for those that don’t know I started writing
a book when I was really bored in the
departure lounge of an airport and recently
found it again and placed the first chapter
on wordpress as a blog [the aforementioned
‘previous’ blog] and it got generally good
feedback. Apart from a few grammatical
mistakes, it was all good. If you’ve not read
it, please do and comment. I sent a message
on Facebook to my favourite author Mike Gayle
and he like it. So that was awesome. Only
annoying thing is that the second chapter
is terrible in comparasion so that needs alot
of re-writing.

I went to Facedown on Friday. Which is a
once monthly club night held in Scala in
Kings Cross in London. And I don’t think that
I’ll be going again for some time. And this
isn’t because I had a terrible time. It’s because
it was probably one of the best nights out
I have had in a long time. And I don’t think
I need to go out for a while because of how great
that night was, other nights won’t really be
able to compare.

I may have a part-time job sorted for when I leave
Jessops in less than two weeks.

I got Regina Spektor’s new album [that’s what
the title is about] and it’s actually pretty good.
I’ve had a quick listen to La Roux’s album and
also the new album by Jack Penate. Definite
buy’s for when I get some more money

I may have an actual website soon, but it’ll most
likely be a link site for my flickr and this blog and
so forth. And there you go, a four hundred word catch
up blog on what I have been up to recently.

I didn’t sleep last night, this feels odd. Although
the Sunrise this morning probably worth it. But
now I look outside it seems to be raining.

[i want to go home, i want to go home]

The title of this blog is actually the line I was
repeating to my boss from about ten past six
to seven today [it didn’t help, because I left
at seven which is the time I was meant to be
working] and this is because at about ten to
five today I completely lost the will to work
anymore. So you can understand that by
about six I was really going insane.

As mentioned in a previous blog, I am being
made redundant and by that I basically mean
that by no fault of my own I won’t have a job
come the 19th of July this year [next month
basically] and at first I took this as a laugh [as
I tend to do] but it is actually getting more and
more apparent.

Now I know that the amount of people at
work who have ever read this blog are
small and the percentage of those few
that read it to begin with who still do is
pretty much zero. So I can be totally honest
if I feel I want to. And I do.

And the truth is that I will miss everyone
there a great deal. Because the truth about life
is, when I go the chances of constantly hanging
out with this [quite diverse and incredibly
interesting] group of people goes with it.
Because as we all know, once you leave a
school/college/workplace you don’t really stay
in touch with the friends you’ve made in these
places unless you live quite close. Which, I’m
afraid to say I do not. And coupled with the fact
I find it incredibly hard to stay in touch with
people will inevitably come out a negative result

I have been taking up things to distract me
from these thoughts as they swirl and swirl
around my head, like taking up piano again
or looking to start [actually] writing a
novel/short story. But it does all come back
to the fact that everything about this sucks.

It really does.

[wasted days you’ve come to pass]

Today in my shop I had a visitor, a
friend of mine. This does happen usually
but this is a person who I don’t see that
often.

So as we exchanged pleasantries and the
‘how have you beens’ the conversation
took a turn. To the best of my memory
it went like this

“So how are you?” She said

“I’m ok thanks, you?” I said

“I’m good, how’s work?” She replied

“Same old same old, you know”

Right there, that’s where for some reason
I automatically lied. Because the thing is
I’m being made redundant and sometime
in July I won’t have a job any more.

Feels odd to write it, oh well. These things
do happen. Especially in an economic
recession, they do seem to always happen
to me though. I’m keeping a good mood
about this. Yeah.

On a more positive note I’m still not
drinking alcohol. Which seems to have
led to a slight weight loss and my disinterest
in girls [in the romantic sense] is still going
on. Although it did make my friend think
I had become homosexual. Two friends in
one day. Go me.

[museum day is fast approaching]

On the 18th of May it is International Museum
Day, a random fact for me to give you I am
sure, but hey,

http://icom.museum/imd.html

I’ve got a busy few days ahead of me, I’ve got
to go out tomorrow night. Which although
is nowhere near the norm I do believe it will
go on until the morning hours of Saturday
morning.

Then I have to go to work. This is making
me giggle while I write this because it’s
been a while. Then I have to try to get out
of work early. Because straight afterwards
I’m going to Brighton. Top fun. Lucky I have
Sunday off hey.

I’m actually looking forward to Brighton as
well because I haven’t been in ages, like two
years methinks.

Recently I was tidying my room and came
across a novel I was yet to read thorugh and
then I found another, and another, and
another so I decided to list them. I have to
read 23 books with a page count over 7000.

This is going to take forever, good thing
I like reading so damn much, or maybe
it’s the buying books side of it? =]

[a view on valentines day and love, one day too late]

My view on valentines may be slightly
askew, this is because all my valentines
have been spent single. This does not
necessarily mean alone. Just single.

And this is it. I think Valentines Day is
great. Seriously. Romantics like myself
are in our element on this day.

I like the idea that for one day of the
year there are couples out there trying
to make that evening perfect for the
other person in their life. Not only
that, the most important person in
their life.

Running all over the place trying to
make things just right. It’s great.
This year [or the ones before] you
may have noticed your male friends
turn to romantic mush for their
lovers.

Even I got stuck at work writing love
notes and poems for the girls I work
with. Not my best work, but they
seemed to like them. I was doing that
for most of my day at work yesterday
and then after work I went to the
pub with my mate Andrew it was
an alright day in general.

And even though it does remind one
on how single they actually are. I
don’t get annoyed, I actually get
cheerful. Love is awesome. A day to
solidify that fact keeps the hope alive.

Quite a few people stare blankly when
Valentines is mentioned many saying
that they have not truly experienced
anything that could be described as
love. Or that what they thought was
love at the time really wasn’t.

Thing is, I’ve  been in love a few times
before, and if what I felt wasn’t love
then love would probably be more
powerful than I’d be able to take.

Happy Valentines People
x

[i’ve got the shoulders apparently]

I’ve recently gotten used to the fact
that as well as being ‘that guy’ [the
one people can tell anything too], I
appear to also be that shoulder.

I somehow, over the past couple of years,
have become the shoulder to cry on. I say
‘couple of years’ because I don’t remember
anyone doing it before this.

It struck home at a work party, well in
actuality it was the after party, which
if I was to get into more detail. The time
between getting into the place we were
staying and getting everyone to bed
[which I had to end up doing].

But in this time I had two people crying
on my shoulder. With one of them it had
happened before and we get on really well,
so if I suddenly looked down and she was
crying on my shoulder I would ask what was
wrong obviously but wouldn’t be too surprised.

The other person on my shoulder was a
surprise though. not for the fact that
they were crying but because me and this
other person hardly talk, we generally chat,
but nothing of great substance and then
there I was. Saying how proud I was of
them and saying that they were doing way
better than I would have done in the
situation I was in.

Almost revealing a part of myself I’d
decided to keep secret, just to comfort
another person. is this the person I am
now? The one that has to cope with his
own worries as well as everyone elses.

[I would like to point out also that
neither of these people cried because
of something I had done]

[a little less conversation]

So you stand there in the awkward
silence that is the end product of
one of the most common situations
I seem to find myself in. I’ll set
the scene:

You just finished work and your
tired, as always seems to be the
case these days [a little worrying,
but I won’t sidetrack] and you
bump into someone, now most
[and we’re talking 9/10] of the
time it’ll be someone you’ve seen
in ages. Now alot of the time you
can just say “Heya” they say it back
and you don’t lose the momentum
of your walking pace. But.

There are always those times [those
annoying times] where your initial
“Heya” isn’t met with a duplicate
response devoid of true conversation
but in their error the other person
slows down, turns, and says “I’m
good thanks, how have you been?”.

Your mind then races with options
but out of politeness you daren’t
just leave and not acknowledge this
introduction to conversation, so you
turn around and reciprocate with
your own half of this now growing
rhetoric.

Now, I try, believe me, I try and be
sociable. I am much more so than
in previous years [and less so at
the same time]. But after work, a
task draining in its [at times]
monotonous nature. But if I don’t
slow down, don’t believe me to be
anti-social or worse anti-you. It’s
just that I’m tired. And when I’m
tired I lack the tools for appropriate
conversation.

What do you do in these situations?
Really?

Do you [at risk of seeming fake]
feign a conversation and [at times]
interest?

Or do you lay it out flat, full on
honesty. say that you have had
a long[ish] day at work and you
feel drained and need sleep. I’ve
done this once or twice but it was
one of my best friends, so they
fully understood.

But 9/10 times it seems that
I take the cowards route and
resort to the first solution,
sadly I’m pretty good at it.
It’s actually easier than
maintaining a real conversation
at times.
Oh well.

[on a train, with decent conversation]

Nowadays I live a good ten minute bus
ride from where I work, i get up, roll out
of bed and boom I’m at work [well not
literally, but you get the idea]

But this was not always so, I used to
live a good two hours from work. This
includes train times and buses [and the
waiting] and usually I would go to sleep
on the train and be happy when I woke
up at my appropriate station.

Only once or [at a push] three times
waking up three stations too late. Now
this just popped into my head but I didn’t
fall asleep all the time and most of these
times I was bored, my music the only thing
keeping me company and watching the same
stations approach day in and day out.

[why not choose a different line you ask?
well I was on a schedule and I didn’t wanna
fuck it up]

So one time it was worse than usual, with the
ability to randomly make myself go to sleep
lost and my iPod battery dead [I had fell asleep
listening to it the night before, a habit I don’t
believe I will ever grow out off].

I was forced to just sit there, and as I was
staring out of the window, noticing a burnt
out car aside the track. And I actually wrote
a poem in my notepad, it went like this;

I’m on the train, still
The fun has worn off
And the sheen has become dull

I wrote this poem in my notepad [it’s
not that great a poem, but I was quite
bored at the time and had nothing for
inspiration, ok, excuses over, back to
the story]my ears pinged as they had
caught attention to a conversation
happening on the group of seats to my left.

Now all I remember is that it was two old
gentlemen and they were dressed in ragidy
[spelling] clothes. They discussed all manner
of subjects to the state of the UK to how
they had felt about their lives. But it was the
last thing that one of them said that actually
hit me in a strange way. So much so, that I
actually got out my notepad to jot it down.

Now at this point the train had got to Dartford
station and one of the old gentlemen got up

“See you later Les, take care”

“It’s a bit late for that”

“Yeah…”

And like I said at that moment I got my
pencil out and wrote it in my notepad.
Now to hear an old man say this was
actually quite depressing in all honesty.

It popped in my head cause I was flicking
through my notepad, funny the randoms it
contains.

[proximity and passion]

Meeting new people is hard, it seems
to be more and more socially awkward
to go up to someone you see in a bar
or club and go up to them with a first
line [that pretty much defines how they
will always see you] without either your
mates jeering at the back of the pub, or
the music blasting so loud you have to
check if your ears are bleeding [gross
but true if you think about it].

So, lets think, you need somewhere
moderately quiet. A place where there is
absolutely no pressure to make an
amazing first impression. And, if [by
some strange form of bad luck] the
conversation should form that
awkward silence, you need a distraction
good and ready. The simple answer
to this conundrum:

the workplace.

Seriously though, consider it.

Has working with people
become the new way to meet
people.

As the shifts go on you and
the time drags on, you find yourself
learning more and more about the
person that is in front of you. You
find that you share similar interests
and usually you realise that you both
share a disinterest about your job [in
most cases I have found this to be
true, which is a plus, because at a
date the last thing you want to talk
about].

You also realise that you have learned
so much more about this person [their
likes, their dislikes] than you would
have done if it was a date situation. And
like I mentioned earlier there is no
pressure cause your at work.

But does it work? Do these sort of
relationships have a standard shelf
life, or is it shortened because of the
following factors that stand in your
way:

[you see each other ALL the time]

[there are a thousand views on your
relationship from your co-workers]

[you can try and hide the relationship,
but people [somehow] always find out]

My personal opinion on this particular
subject is that yeah, you could meet
the perfect person at work, someone
with whom you can share interests and
nice conversations, but what if your wrong
and the leap that you take isn’t as gracious
as you would have hoped, or, your leap
was gracious but the end of the relationship
isn’t, your gonna have to see that person
all the time. It’s that consequence that
kinda scares me on that one.

BUT

You could always do what me and my
friend did, when she said;

“What happens when we break up”

I replied with;

“We don’t, we’re that awesome”

[basically trying to say that not all
relationships have bad endings]

[today was a good day]

Yeah, it was, not only because
of the nice people I met at work
today disguised as customers. But
more importantly than this, today,
as what is becoming the new standard
I walked home from work and ate healthily
at lunchtime, walking home allowed me
to take a little detour and end up at
ASDA with the intention of cooking
tonight.

Whilst down there I saw my old
childminders from when I was a kid
[quite obviously] and had a chat with
them, which was awesome. I was always
afraid I’d let them down with the whole
‘not-going-to-uni’ situation, but they
didn’t bring it up, but were happy to
hear that my photography career seems
to be kicking off.

In case you were wondering, I bought pasta,
turkey and two different sauces and I’m
gonna cook them for me and mum, once
I finish this blog. I like cooking and I’m
good at it, hence why I only cook on the
random.

And as well as being more than two
thirds through my book in two sittings
I have also gone and got myself a
flickr account, which at the mo
only has a few polaroid in it. Which
Are already on this blog, but hey.

I’m gonna go cook now, but,
yes, it was a good day.

[see me, sans degree]

Conversations at work recently brought up
a long forgotten subject [well at least to
me], as to why I’m not studying photography
at university to a degree level.

Interesting. But as with all things
it has a story, and as always, I
doubt this will be a short one.

Sorry [in advance]

Well to begin with I’d like to
say that I did once get accepted
into uni with the work I had,
which my college tutor said
wasn’t good enough. But hey,
and with that for some reason
something clicked in my mind and
from that point I stopped working,
literally, went into college printed
some work in the darkroom and
helped others but thats about it.

The aftermath of this is that I
never made it into university and
barely scraped a pass from the college
course. And apart from disappointing
a few people I didn’t really care.

That was, of course, until I saw Steve.
Now Steve and I had last talked the day
I was accepted into uni, and so knew
nothing of my recent failures. So while
she was stealing my food, she asked for an
update on the uni situation and my life
in general. Now, I told her alot of stuff
at this point, most of which I’m not
going to share [for two reasons, the first,
it’s got nothing to do with the story and
second, it was a troubling time in my
life].

So as she stole my last chip and took
in this flood of information she just
sat back and said [to the best of my
memory];

“Thats okay, you’re just going to re-apply
as a mature student when your old enough”

And that was that, that was the course my life
was on, I would continue to pursue photography
and wait until I was old enough to become a
mature student and join the ranks of higher education.
Funny that that was all it took, some words
from someone who would actually turn out to
be an important figure in that part of my life.

And thats what I did, kept my passion alive
in the hopes of one day being re-accepted into
De Mont Ford University, which is in Leicester
UK, if you were wondering.

Now, there is only one problem with
this and this is the only condition that
I put to Steve’s order, and this was it;

“But I’m not going to if my photographic career
is taking off”

And the thing is, it kind of is, I’m photographing
weddings and events and so forth. People like my
photos and for example I have three events [boat
parties, wedding receptions and not to mention
the countless band photos and possibly a calendar]
and two weddings before the year is out. But I do feel
like I’ve missed out at the same time. Maybe I
will go back, but it does sometimes feel like its
too late. But I shall definitely enquire for next
year. A promise is a promise.

Also some other things, near enough everybody
I know that studies a creative subject at uni wants
to quit soon after, I’ve actually talked a few people
into staying the distance at university and also if
your ever with me and you see me turn off the radio
at another university or student advert this article
should explain why. Also, why do I keep a promise
to someone I’ve not actually seen in what feels like
years, It’s not like she’ll find out.

[green grabber]

I find it weird that people
find it be amazing. Yes, this
word was actually said
[can’t remember who the
person who said it was, neither
do I care] because I now eat
salads instead of crappy foods
for lunch.

I have been asked on more than
one occasion,

“Are you on a diet?”
“No”
“Seriously, your on a diet arent you?”
“No, but I am on lunch”

I’m not for the record, but
thing is, it just struck me
about a month ago that eating
crappy foods [this list being
made of essentially fast food]
all the time, was just stupid.

Let me put it another way,
imagine someone came to
you, someone you trusted,
and told you that eating
fast food was bad for you
body, mind and other
faculties of your person.

And as you are consuming
this substance that is slowly
destroying killing you, you
look up and say, yeah but
it’s so so tasty. I have slightly
more respect for myself
than that.

It doesn’t have to be construed
as you being on a diet if your
spotted eating green vegetables.

So I say yes, and have been for
a while, to salads, there actually
quite tasty.

And like I said, its not a diet,
lets just call it a better eating
decision. Salads, yummmm.

Also I’d like to add something,
after I ate fast food, I generally
felt ill, you really don’t get
that with salads.

If I could recommend one,
I’d say get ‘Country Garden
Chicken’ from EAT. or a Chicken
Cesear Salad. Obviously your
not going to do something just
because I tell you to. But just
try it for a little while, oyu’ll
see what I mean.

True story.