Tag Archives: relationships

I’ve never really been one for Dating.

I have never really been one for going on “dates” and generally I don’t go on them. Dates, to me, seem too false. You meet up with somebody and try to present yourself as an amazing person, witty, smart and fun to be around.

I usually compare people on dates to people who go for interviews for jobs that they don’t really want. You see these people being interviewed and they seem to present themselves as perfect for the role they have applied for. It’s only when you get them in the office/shop floor/wherever that you realised that all that time you invested in your new employee was actually wasted and they’re a bit of a dick that you can’t bare to be around for more than five minutes.

My own personal experience could be a big reason for my aversion to dating. As it goes, I was once on my way to a date and with about 5 minutes before I got to the pub where we said we were going to meet it suddenly occurred to me that I had no idea what her name was. At all. When I first met her I gave her a nickname and that’s what I called her. The date itself came about in strange circumstances. My boss had sent me out to get something for her and I had started talking to the lady behind the till [because I tend to be able to strike up conversation with anybody] and after purchasing the items for my boss was about to leave but was asked for my number. At that point in time I didn’t really want to give anybody my number. So, and I have felt slightly bad since, I gave her my fake number. And thought I got out of there ok, there was a short period where I thought I may have given her my real number but two weeks went by and I realised there were no phone calls or texts so I thought all to be well and that I had got away with my cruel misdead.

But nothing in life is that easy.

I had forgotten that during our chat, before I realised the road it had gone down, I had told here where it was that I had worked. Bad move. At the time I had worked in a very popular camera shop and a customer and his wife were in looking at binoculars. He picked up a pair and his wife said that she was going to look at another shop. And I thought that if he was going to play with binoculars I will too. So I picked up a pair and saw a blurry figure in the distance waving. So, me thinking it was the customers wife paid no mind [the customer and I were both looking in the same direction], but the blurry figure kept waving so I pulled it into focus and in a moment of terror I realised that it was that girl from the shop that I was looking at. And although it sounds like something from a terrible movie, I promise you it actually happened. The customer noting this said “Friend of yours?”. My reply being “Not exactly”.

So when she came into the shop and told me that she had tried the number and hadn’t been able to get through. So I feigned shock and surprise and she said that she was going to dial it and see if my phone went off. At that point I had to give her my actual number as she was standing there and I felt a little guilty [and needless to say cornered] because she had gone to all the trouble of tracking me down.

So, back to the date.

Girl [whose name to this day I cannot remember, the best I can tell you was that it started with either a J or K was late. Now this bugged me quite a bit, because I never like sitting in a pub by myself at the best of times and had to make friends with the people next to me. It’s easy enough done, but still hassle. She arrived and I still had no idea what to call her so I went with “Babe” and it worked well. But to be honest, throughout most of this date I just wanted to go home. I don’t know how people who date do it. Sitting there making small talk, trying not to make it to obvious that you’re bored witless.

Eventually [thank God] one of her friends came along and I managed to catch what her name was. That memory only lasted about 15 minutes.  And we met up with another of her friends. This guy, it was so obvious to tell that he liked “Babe” and she was totally oblivious. And he didn’t like me till I called him on it. With my trademark “So…How long have you fancied XX”. Looking stunned he admitted it was a long time. I really just wanted to go home.

It was later suggested that we went to a night club. I hate night clubs, and I really hated the night club we were going to. But I went, mainly because I had white trainers on and thought I wouldn’t be able to get in and could go round my friend’s house to watch some movies. As you have probably gathered I didn’t really have a romantic interest with this girl and I was kind of going along with it all. But, as I have said before in this post,

nothing in life is that easy.

He let me in! The bouncer who had been turning people away left right and centre let me in with jeans and white [muddy white] trainers. The night gets hazy from that point on but I remember [probably] kissing her and waking up at her house. Where I pulled out my patented ‘leave as early as possible’ manoeuvre. If I have slept round your house you know what I mean.

With this experience is it surprising that I don’t really go on dates. It seems so strange. For two people who barely [and in some cases don’t] know each other having to sit over dinner/movie/in a  bar and mandatorily be expect to have a good time in each others company. I swear that’s how they try and get pandas to mate, and it doesn’t work.

I’m sure there are worse stories of dating. A blog that I have recently started to read about dating is called – Book Editors You should check it out if funny
and a good read. Click the name above to go through to the blog.

This is the first post I have written for this blog in a long while and it’s kind of written in the style that I had lost, with which I had started this blog to begin with. It actually only came about because of a conversation I had today with a friend on mine as she was recounting her dating stories and this one just popped into my head. Well, hopefully you’ve enjoyed what you have read if you would like to see my photography blog feel free to click the link below.

Also feel free to add me on Twitter my onscreen name is: squarebrackets

[poem to the point]

I don’t know if it was love,
but it sure was close.
I laid there in the bed,
as you put back on your clothes.

As you made your excuses,
And left through the door.
I wondered if I felt anything for you anymore.

It was five years ago,
that you broke my heart in two.
But since then I thought of none other
than you.

But now that I’ve had you,
and my false feelings dismissed.
I only feel sad,
for the love that I have missed

It’s been a while so I thought I’d throw a poem on here. I did just this second make it up. so forgive me if it’s not that great.

[six line poem]

As I awake,
and see it’s day,
my dreams of you vanish fast.
But as I see,
you sleeping next to me
I know my dreams will last.

[one day I will own this city]

We’ll get married in the morning.
So if it doesn’t work out we wouldn’t have wasted the day.

[so fragile we are. so fragile we are we just don’t show it]

This is true.

I heard this line whilst listening to Gym Class Heroes song. And it
popped into my head that this is true. Well to me anyways, no
matter how fragile I may or may not feel people in general will
not have a clue because I rarely let people see that side to me.

The last time I can remember it happening was many
years ago. And I doubt it will be happening any time
soon, but, this doesn’t stop me being the person that’s
there when things go wrong.

I have seen the ‘fragile side’ shall we say of quite a few of the people
that I know and the strange thing is that I know for a fact that if
something went majorly for me, I would probably lie and say that
all is fine and devote some time to sorting it out on my own.

But hey, it stops people worrying about me, which is
what I like, I hate when people worry about me
because I always feel like they have better things to
be doing with there time.

I’m sure that one day I’ll grow out of this and allow myself
to be fragile with someone. But therein lies the rub, because
the moment I let myself enter that world of personal fragility
I will probably open my life to this person, everything that I
had always lied about, all the anxieties that I had ever had.
And that I’m sure I could never do.

Oh and the Gym Class Heroes song is ‘Shoot Down
The Stars’. It’s a good song, give it a listen.

[and these are the rules by which I play]

Ok so tonight has re-proved something that I
already knew, I should probably start the
story at the start.

I would describe myself as cheeky but with an underlying
sense or morals and decency that some would [and have]
define as being a gentlemen.

So this is why when a member of the opposite sex
is making a pass a few things need to taken into
consideration, the first is whether she has been
drinking and how much, if it is too much in
comparison to me, I would walk her to her friends
or walk her home to make sure she got back OK.

Secondly, you have to look into the eyes, it’s a strange thing
to just say as a sentence so I’ll put it into a scenario. I left
a local club called Time and on the walk home I put my music
in [it’s actually a two minute walk, but I love my music] and
without realising it I was singing the Simon & Garfunkel song
‘The Sound Of Silence’ and whilst walking noticed a shadow
walking astride mine. So I popped back the hood of my flatmates
jacket and saw a girl giving me a cute smile saying

“I really liked your singing by the way”

Without a hint of sarcasm [which is what you would have expected
had you heard my voice] and that when I noticed what was in her
eyes. It was what I usually have in mine which is a hint of
romantasism. I know it sounds strange but it is true.

And that’s why I said thank you for your compliment
and kindly made my way down my road, I don’t know
what it was but it was that hint in her eye that made
me think that she|

[ok as I’m writing this I’m finding it hard to put my thoughts
into words, which is annoying, so I’m leaving that part open
which sadly means that this part of the post is
non-conclusionary and for that I apologise]

What I must say though is that Mum must have
done a good job.

[of which I couldn’t really care about]

OK, so it has been an admitedly long time since my last post
and this is not through lack of trying as I have gone to write
things for this blog during time and just ended up closing the
tab without actually saving the draft of the hundred or so
words that I had just written. Which I guess is the digital
likeness of throwing paper in the bin after spending ages
trying  to write something. Although this is more eco-friendly.

And it’s not even confined to the post editor that WordPress gives
you. I have even been writing notes [very long notes] in my phone
which are the outlines of blog ideas and on one or two entire posts,
and it was while looking back through these notes that I saw one
that I decided I was actually going to write about. It wasn’t an entire
blog entry but only a title.

‘Getting Bored Of The Fact That The Only People I Kiss
Recently I Don’t Actually Care About’

And it’s true, for at least a couple of months now it seems that the
only people I’ve kissed or done anything with I have absolutely
no feelings towards in that sense. I don’t ‘nothing’ them, but I
don’t feel any spark. And that’s not to say I haven’t felt the spark
but nothing happens with those people. And trust me, constantly
kissing people you have no romantic connection to is very boring.

Another thing that seems to be happening more recently
than it  did before is the fact that I’d have to say about
80-90% of them I don’t even know there names and most
of those I find hard to envision their face in my mind. It
kind of reminds me of the Brand New song Millstone.  Ah
well, I am hoping this will change, but the point of this
post was just to write something, to be able to say to
myself that I was actually putting my thoughts and feelings
back into this blog. And I have. :]

In the meantime before I figure out what to write about next or
indeed how to word what it is I’ve already written [albeit in note
form] enjoy this photograph of my looking ridiculously happy in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, Wales.

Apart from what I mentioned above, it’s actually quite fun
here.

12445_326120620360_791560360_9539680_1068381_n

Yeah that’s right. Tourist as fuck.