Tag Archives: experience

[i carry you in my heart]

Is it worth settling?

I would like to clarify, by ‘settling’
I am not talking about ‘settling down’
with a family, thats a different blog
for a different day.

What I mean by settling is in reference
to when we settle, as to, make do.

I have been considering this recently,
do I settle for what has come along or
do I wait even longer for what [in my
mind at least] is perfect for me.

As chidren we are taught [mainly by
films and telelvision], that what [and
some cases all] we want is just
around the corner, our dream job,
our perfect partner, all of our goals
attainable if we hang on to the belief
that if we wait little bit longer it will
all come along for us.

But is it worth it?

I mean life isn’t like the movies or
television and it’s not like we have
forever to be messing around. So
why do we waste time?

On the other hand, it’s hope. Hope
that we will be rewarded for our
sacrifices and patience. And sometimes
we are. And of course alot of the time
we are not.

A little story from personal experience,
I  waited once, waited for quite some
time. And then gave in and gave up.
Simple as that, moved on. And you
know what. Kind of annoyed I did,
that I didn’t have the patience.

This blog seems to be going on a bit.
So I shall summise, people wait, wait
for that special thing. But must also
ask themselves why they are waiting,
what is it that is holding them back
and what is it that has them scared.

What is it that stands in your way?

[sensible heart]

It amazes me [and aggravates me
at the same time] at how we can
pretty much control everything
in the world and it seems so easy.
But some reason, control seems
impossible when it concerns feelings
[and/or emotions].

This is especially true when these
feeling concern those around us.
And because of this we do
things we regret, we say
things we wish we hadn’t.
But heres the thing about regret,
it’s experience.

Absolution, let’s say, on the
thing, that constant thing
[feeling or person] that for the
past few days, weeks, months
[whatever], you have left
unsaid, you now know for
sure.

And at some level alot of people
wish they could give into regret,
because to do that, takes quite
a bit of courage.

[views on heartbreak]

Totally worth it.

No, seriously.

The way I see it, its an essential part
of human emotional growth, and
without it I don’t think that many
of the well-adjusted people that
you see from day to day would be
who they are.

And like most people I have experienced
this myself [I can’t say that it has equaled
to the tales I have heard from my
contemporarys], but yeah, it hurt, but, I
am [in a strange round-a-bout way]
appreciative of the experience. Experience
helps you grow stronger and allows
you to deal with situations with a level head.

Now I am not saying that I would like to
experience heartache again, but you see
thats the thing.

No matter how many times
you go through heartache for the last
time, your bound to go through it again.
It’s called life and like I said before it
worth it, because if something had the
ability to break your heart. It must have
been awesome to begin with.

True Story.

[the one that got away]

It was early December and surprisingly it was
a quiet time in the shop of which I work,
which pleased me no end. Because I work in
a shop that sells mainly electronics and is
handily situated in a mega shopping mall, a quiet
time in the lead up to Christmas, [which, at times,
can seem like the most consumerist of holidays]
was a godsend.

This also allowed me more time
to talk to my new work colleague, and it was then
that we realised we had more than a slight
distaste in the frequency of our customers
in common.

We both, although still young in the eyes
of the world, had experienced the phenomenon
of one who got away, the love that, although we
were happy in the situations we were in, was
always lingering in the back of ours minds.

With him I found his story more interesting
than mine, I won’t go into it I’m afraid,
because although it was never said, I
feel he trusted me with the details of his
particular story. And I’m not going into the
particulars of my story on this occasion
because I don’t really want that person
realising who they are, if they ask I may be
inclined to tell them, but until then, my
lips and more importantly my writing
fingers are sealed.

But, move time forward to present day, which
for your information, is early August 2008. And
the stories that we had shared had just popped
back into my head. And it occurred that we
were, and are, way too young to be giving
anyone that is or was in our life’s, the prestigious
title of the one who got away.

I believe that I should be pushing about thirty in
a pub with a group of friends, necking cider,
much as I do now, telling stories of my twenties
and then, I’ll whip out my special story, well at least
to me, of the one who got away.

Because everyone has one of those stories,
stories of regret and passion, a decision made
that quizzes you even today with it’s ‘maybes’
and ‘could haves’. I think about these things
because when I’m older and I’m in that pub
telling the stories, the one who got away may
just be the one I’ve yet to get.

[word count: 388 words]