Tag Archives: drunken texting

[the ten rules to a party]

Now, I compiled this list a while ago when I realised
that most of the parties that I had previously [and
also to the date of me writing this] have had the same
set of occurrences.

Now [just to preface] this list isn’t exclusive to parties
but generally any gathering of people where alcohol is
involved. I would like to also say that it is quite rare
to see all ten things at once. But you will notice at least
two or three. Trust me. OK, so lets begin.

1] The Crying/Upset Girl She is the staple of the party
rules and actually the inspiration for the list. I recall
walking a girl home from one of my parties because she
was on the brink of becoming ‘The Crying Girl’. But as
it goes I find it hard to find it a party with the absence
of ‘The Crying Girl’

Alot of the time, she cries for little to no reason at all.
And like a few things on this list only happens for a
little bit of attention. Even if you think that you
avoided it at your party that just means that it most
likely happened in  a locked bathroom or bedroom.

But this rarely happens as the crying girl usually
feels the need to tell a few of her close friends. A
crying boy can happen but that is usually associated
with rule number ten.

2] The Stranger – This rule generally describes a
person who wasn’t really invited to the party. But
came along as a plus one or tagged along with a
friend and at some time during the night gets parted
from the person they came along with and for some
unknown reason decides to tag along with you. It
gets annoying.

3] The Pretender – This [in my experience] will most
of the time be a girl. She would have not had that much
to drink but just for the attention of the people around
her, she will appear alot more drunk than she actually is.
But she will only do this when there are people around.
Because what is the point of this ludicrous performance
if there is not an audience to witness it.

NB: In addition [and I have done this myself, if you look at
‘The Pretender’ when she believes that nobody is looking
she will be totally fine, and probably looking around to see
if there is anyone to act drunk around.

4] The Adulterer – For the purpose of the list I am
classing adultery as anything from a kiss and beyond,
[funny enough, my blog, my rules]. Alcohol will often
be used as an excuse to why the adultery occurred. Because
generally if you commit adultery at a party you will be
caught. But alcohol only lowers your inhibitions to things
that you may have done anyways. So therefore if you are
the one who committed the adultery then you can still
be blamed.

5] Storming Out – At some part during the night somebody
will get really drunk and decide upon themselves that it
would be agreat idea to walk home [when they can hardly
walk five metres in a straight line] regardless of how far they
live. And because you are nowhere near as drunk as they are
you try and stop them and that can actually take up alot of
your night. As terrible as it sounds, if somebody wants to walk
home, let them. They’ll only have themselves to blame.

6] Disappearing Act – Now this is different to the previous
rule. Mainly because with this rule the person will dissappear
without making a fuss. But will generally leave with a few
people and will not be totally wasted so you are rest assured
that even though they leave drunk they will be able to get
home safe.

7] The Drunk Text – Drunken texting is an illness, one that
I have suffered with for some time. The only way I can describe
why we do it, is that when we are drunk, we want people to
know that we are thinking about you [in a nice, non-creepy
way]. Although drunk texts are usually quite harmless I have
sent a few that have made me cringe when I remembered
sending them as I was recovering the next day. Ah well, as is

8] Time To Have It Out – An argument will happen, between
a couple who are on the rocks or on the other hand a couple who
have recently broken up. Underlying or unresolved issues are
generally helped to break through to the surface by the consumption
of alcohol.It is best not get involved, because sometimes what’s
getting yelled out at the top of their lungs needs to come out.

9] House Party Rules – If you are having a house party there are
a few things that you should expect. Firstly, no matted how much
you prepare your home. Something will get broken or wrecked. One
or both of the two. And secondly somebody will be sick, a rule that is
so universal throughout partyland is that there will always be somebody
who does not know there limits when it comes to alcohol and pukes
up everywhere [this happens so often that it should have been rule
eleven to be honsest]. Also, it’s very annoying when it’s over YOUR stuff.

10] Boys Are Back In Town – When it comes to a party you will find
that the boy’s will get heated and try to be men by having a fight. This
rule isn’t just for the males, women have been known to break out into
random fights, it’s quite strange because it is completely counter-productive
to the party atmosphere.

Ah well, that’s it. Hope you enjoyed reading it. Comment if you
want, I have realised that I have been a bit slack with blog posts
recently so I’m trying to rectify this. In short, I will be blogging
more, from now on.

Wow, one thousand words. Whoop!


[the thought is the same but the language is lost]

I text you whilst drunk
My thoughts and feelings are out
Finally you know

[14th December 2007]

Now, before I simply copy and paste this
entry from my old livejournal I feel that
I should explain it somewhat. This journal
entry depicts in a sort of first person veiw
one of the best days of my life.

I intent to erase my old livejournal, now
that I have this blog instead, but I also
feel that there are a few blogs worth
saving and they will pop up randomly
in this one before I take the final plunge
and delete the last one.

– [it all starts on the 12th December 2007]

[this for all intensive purposes is you]

So picture the scene, it’s
about 5:20 on a normal
Wednesday, you’ve got ten
min left of work and your bored.

You’ve already had to deal
with customers whose orders
haven’t arrived, helped people
and displayed an almost autistic
knowledge in photography.

And on top of that you’ve been
told that sleeping in the same bed
with someone who you work with, and
nothing happening is impossible,
and that you probably got raped
in your sleep, nice.

But as you stand in the hallway, out
the back of the shop, feeling the seconds
slowly drip away, but still getting nowhere
nearer to home time
you feel your pocket
going off, its your phone,
its a message, but not the one
you were hoping for, but its
still a nice surprise, you read:

Wana come drink some beers
round mine? x

a smile appears
you say yes [quite obviously]
and your assistant manager
asks what it is that suddenly perked
you up, and successfully guesses
its strongbow realted, you chuckle as
you grab your coat to leave, its
no longer home time, its drinking
time, its the promise of good times
[except you do have to pop home first
to grab some stuff].

You get to the train station
a little later than planned to
find out that your train is delayed, by
quite a bit, there’s nothing
you can do either, so you decide to
get a cab to Dartford and get
a train from there.

Whilst waiting for the taxi,
a train goes past, the train you
had been waiting for, you start to
run get halfway and realise you
won’t make it, you have a short
conversation with a man
on the platform with you and
proceed to go and wait for the
taxi again.

In this time you
talk to a girl who seems to be
milling around, you say uyo’d
split the cab if she
was going to Dartford, she isn’t,
shes going to Bluewater, but you
get thanked and talk for a bit anyways,
talk about this and that, and she says
that she’ll come visit you in your shop,
you don’t expect this to ever happen.

You get to Dartford station and
give up £7.50 to the cabbie
with the itchy back and
proceed to get on a train.

You get to New Cross and find out
all the delays were because of a
fire at Cannon street station, it’s
nine o’clock, your really late, on
the way to ricks house you
buy some alcohol and cigarettes
you give up 5p of your change,
your in a rush.

You get to the house, the hall light
is red, you giggle, this place looks
like a brothel, you think to yourself,
you get in, bearing the gifts, not
only the fags and booze, but a delayed
birthday present for rick and the photos
from France, of which you and him
visited earlier in the year.

You proceed to drink, discussing many
things, also putting up the Christmas
lights in the kitchen,
that were supplied by ricks
flatmate Kate, it is awesome, the lights
look amazing.

You again proceed to drink and
wake up on the house sofa, remembering
parts of the night before, long talks
about how you should accept gifts and
what not, talks on ricks movie idea
which is amazing, your life and its
comparisions to your drinking buddies
life, discussions on the universe whilst
laying on your back in the garden on bin
liners as to not get your clothes dirty
you also see that you have
been a silly boy, sending drunken text
messages again, was and is always a bad idea,
oh well, doesn’t matter much, cause you
have to get to work, you brush
your teeth and leave a note for rick
and head for New Cross station.

You get to the station a few minutes later
and get a ticket from the automated
machine ‘NEW CROSS TO GREENHITHE’ it states,
showing you, that you can go no further,
you don’t mind, you need to go to work and thats
it, you wait, it is now 09:01 according to
the printed date on the ticket, you
check and your in luck, there is a train
to dartford, its due for 09:11, you get
to platform C and find its delayed by about 10
minutes, which is ok, it leaves you more than
enough time to get a bus and to work,
your so tired and cold and you receive messages,
replies from the night before, you reply, and
wait for the train.

It comes, it doesn’t stop, it just goes on,
this is the first time its happened to you,
you have to think, think…
you’ve got it, you jump on the next train to
Lewisham and then the next train from there
to Darford, as you leave Dartford station, you
hand the guy your ticket and start to walk,
your already late and you get stopped,
theres something wrong with your ticket mate,
you hear behind you.

you turn around, saying pardon in the
process, well according to this, he says,
your going to new cross, and its yesterday,
in your haste you gave him the ticket
from yesterday, you quickly grab
the ticket you got this morning, and
hand it to him, saying sorry at the
same time, he says that he doesnt have
to keep it since its valid for a few more stops

you say you don’t really care
and you cant wait for that train
and you leave, and get the Fasttrak B to
Bluewater, you call your boss to let him
know you’ll be late, and you start your
journey to work, getting in a little
bit of sleep and thinking that although
all you did last night was have a few
beeeers round a mates house, it was
awesome, oyu had a great time, and sleep
is fun, work flies by, you see your best friend
and some people you havn’t seen in years,
you work a little bit extra because you were
a little bit late, which allows you to chat a bit

After work, you start to head home, your tired
and have a great idea for a blog, it may be long
winded but it’d be fun to write and thats he point,
you grab a helium balloon and head to Bluewaters
christmas fare, you see you say hi to mark
and kelly sends us away because we are being
too rude, in this time, you manage to maintain a
convo whilst using a urinal and [albeit not at the same
time] manage to accidentally insult a burgerking girl,
neither you or mark know how this happened, you apologise,
grab your coke and leave, you and mark proclaim to be gay
just to get some sales people
to leave you alone, and then you
return him to the christmas fayre and after a while continue
the journey home.

You get home, say hi to your mum
and get on the computer, it was
on standby when you got in, and
you rest your laptop on your lap,
and begin to write your new blog
recounting the previous two days
in a strange sort of way, but you
are happy writing it.

You talk to alex online for a bit
and realise that you don’t know where
your laptop charger is, its been
moved since Tuesday when you
last used it, and its flashing 10% battery

So you put the laptop to sleep and
look, you realise that this blog will
take ages, and you tell alex this,
you find the charger, it had been moved,
you not too happy, but its nothing to get
stressed about, you have you dinner and
have a bath, you then continue to write
as you finish up, you
realise your quite proud with it and the
clock on your laptop says 00:36.

Its time to post and sleep
you log onto livejournal and go to
post to journal, realising you have a
message, which you’ll read in a moment,
you open the notepad document where you
pre-wrote the blog, a habit you
seem to now always do, to write the blog
in notepad first and then place it in
livejournal, just in case.

You select all the text by pressing
CTRL or as you say ‘central’ and the A
key, you then copy it and you are about
to paste it into livejournal, adding a
little bit on the end which would have
been impossible to write, and you add a series
of tags to it, add some details and realise
it is ready for posting.


awesome, yeah?

awesome, yeah?

[word count : 1542 words]