[every line is about who I don’t wanna write about anymore]

It’s true.
I’m going to take a break from creative endeavours soon.
Photography wise I’ve been working pretty hard.
And I’m kind of burning myself out.

If you would like to see my photography blog please click the link below.
http://richardanthonymorris.wordpress.com/

And with regards to the title and the first line of this post.
I have found that all my poetry is very similar.
And so, I’m going to go back to square one.
With the photography and my writing.
Re-learn everything and hopefully start anew and emerge better than I was.
That is all.

[poem to the point]

I don’t know if it was love,
but it sure was close.
I laid there in the bed,
as you put back on your clothes.

As you made your excuses,
And left through the door.
I wondered if I felt anything for you anymore.

It was five years ago,
that you broke my heart in two.
But since then I thought of none other
than you.

But now that I’ve had you,
and my false feelings dismissed.
I only feel sad,
for the love that I have missed

It’s been a while so I thought I’d throw a poem on here. I did just this second make it up. so forgive me if it’s not that great.

[getting ready for the get gone]

Well it seems that the end for Bangor [in terms of
me being here] are looming ever closer. In just
over a week I’ll be leaving Bangor. Of course I’ll
return but it won’t be the same as I won’t be living
here.

At the moment as I sit in my room that is looking a little
more bare than it did last week. And it makes me think
of Scrubs for some strange reason. In particular the last
episode of Season 8 when JD leaves Sacred Heart. And how
he was goping for the massive goodbye. Which as we know
in life, doesn’t happen.

So, I pack my things, the majority of my things
anyways. I didn’t pack my cameras away as I have a
feeling that I may need to use any of them at any
given time. Yes, I am that geeky. For further
evidence of this look below.

I know, awesome right?

I don’t have much else to write except that my jaw hurts
if I open it too wide which makes yawning and eating
quite painfull but at least my feet have healed and I’m
able to walk around without feeling epic pain 🙂

Also, not having a job is really fucking boring.

[not so appetising]

Today I had a walk into town and found that I had found myself
outside of the main window for the Marks & Spencer store in
Bangor and as I looked at the photos they had on the exterior of
the shop for there food and to be honest none of it looked appetising.

And that got me to thinking. My attitude to food has changed quite a bit.
I used to knowingly gorge on food, just because I could. But because if
the rules that I’m now living by [which were mentioned in a previous
post] I’m eating better and always eating crappy fast food.

And also it has got me cooking more, which is fun. Below I have included
two pictures. The top one is of the Marks & Spencer window and the other
is the meal I cooked for my friend Vicki and I. Yesterday was an epic day.
Cooked for a friend, had a  massive walk, played some frisbee and some
basketball and worked and one of the best jobs I have ever had. ilovelife.

[if you would like to listen to my band]

Ray of Little Green Book

I have mentioned Little Green Book on this blog quite a bit,
and I’m going to mention them again. Little Green Book is
the combination of my little brothers insane musical talent
and my ability to ad lib. All the songs are recorded once
and done with it. Most [if not all] of the songs are made up
on the spot, the only exceptions are those which no-one
has ever heard.

If you click the top photograph you will get
directed to the new soundcloud account with
some of the songs on and if you click on the one
on the bottom you will be directed to the
myspace account.

When I move back home I will hopefully be able to get some
new stuff together if me and my little brother can find the
time and if I can find something worth singing about. I’ve kind
of lacking in the inspiration department recently.

There is also the chance of drums being added
to the band. But that’s another blog for another
day.

[one day I will own this city]

We’ll get married in the morning.
So if it doesn’t work out we wouldn’t have wasted the day.

[seren]

Seren is the student newspaper for Bangor University
and there is a part of called ‘Creative Corner’ where
you are able to submit photographs, writing etc for
print.

Well I submitted a poem and two photographs and
they both got included which was pretty awesome.
What was great about it was that I finally did something
with my poems [due the encouragement of
yourownpersonalmonster, possibly one of the longest
standing readers of this blog] and I knocked it
off my to-do list. Which as it transpired it was never
on the list to begin with.

I have received compliments about the photos
and the poems which is always nice. I have
included it in this post as a PDF file so you can
just download it. If you go to Page 20 you will see
a photograph of some bikes in black and white
[that’s mine] and on Page 21 I have the poem[s]
as well as a photograph I took in a bookstore
[also mine].

I was thinking of submitting again. We’ll see what
they think of these and whether they feel they are
worth printing.

Hope you enjoy 🙂

Seren April 2010

[edit]

[people think an edit is just for text, they are wrong]

It is soon time to perform yet another edit on my life.
I have done it before, taken my life, looked it over, seen
what parts are not needed and removed them.

My attitude, demeanour and way of life is wrong.
Although it has led to an overwhelming confidence.
A sort of ‘don’t give a fuck view on life’ as it has been
described. And although this is a great way to live
[don’t get me wrong], it also leads to laziness in
achieving goals. A sort of  ‘wait and see’ that can go
on for months.

So what Im going to do is look at my life and adjust, a few
simple measures to make sure that life runs as it should.
A general action that one must goes through during an edit
is to look at your social network. Firstly your online social
network. This is your Facebook, Twitter, Myspace and so
on and seriously consider how many of your ‘friends’ or
‘followers’ you actually interact with. When you realise all
the ones you don’t, delete them. I have found that my
online social networks are riddles with crap on my behalf,
this will change as part of the edit.

Oh, and if they notice you have deleted them and
message you then you may have made a mistake
and should consider taking them back.

That’s the start of an edit and one of the easiest parts. Now
that you’ve done an erase you must now rearrange and
rework parts of yourself. Look at your best features and
keep those and the thing that you don’t like, get rid. For
instance, looking at myself, I’m not that bad at socialising
and ask anybody who knows me and they’ll know how
easy I can make friends. But I quite dislike my lack of
dedication towards a goal and how easy it is for me to
get distracted.

And after you’ve done all that, make a list of
actions, a list of rules that you will live by for
the next month or so, just to prove to yourself
that you have some form of willpower.

I’ve already done these for a month a few
times so I’ve decided that the rules below are going to
start soon [within the next two weeks] and carry on for
a year;

To only get drunk a maximum of once a week
To no longer eat of fast food [this rule is not applicable whilst drunk]
Increase my productivity
Do not waste time
Read more
Don’t just make plans
I’m hoping this edit will go well as it needs to be done
over some time to be successful. With this new way of
life I should be able to be more proactive in sorting
everything out including but not limited to my future
career.

Over and out.

[i’m only here to let the world know]

It has been too long since I last wrote a post on here. Actually
to be honest I think that I haven’t written a post in this whole
month and as for my photoblog it’s been even longer. This
shall be rectified tonight.

What to discuss though? Well I’m about to do an epic post that
will cover several topics which could probably have been
covered over a set number of posts.

*To make it easier to read instead of every other paragraph being in bold
format I will alternate between blod and not bold per topic in this post as
opposed to every other paragraph. Here goes.

As always I have  a new book idea, I had done some pretty extensive
work on the one I was writing some time ago [click here to see the
first chapter] but never took any notes with all the adjustments I had
made. The version I was working on was a completely re-worked
version. Different story lines brewing, different characters and in
my opinion much better written than the previous framework that
I had put up. But alas, that version died along with the Mac that it
was on. Ah well.

I have been doodling a few new ideas and I thinking of basing the
beginning of the new book on the blog entry [it all started with a
newspaper]. It seems like a good idea and it might work. I’m
probably never going to complete it. But my mind needs a focus
point and writing wise. This will be it  :]

Another writing outlet has been to keep my notepad up to date and
to start designing a magazine on InDesign. I was going to make a
magazine with photography and general bit’s and pieces and save
it as a PDF file and allow it for download from this site!

Aside from this I have been keeping my mind busy in other areas, for example,
the rest of my life. I have been drawing up a two year plan. One, that if followed
correctly, will set me on a course for the rest of my life. That’s right people I have
picked a career path that I want to undertake. I am not going to tell everyone
what it is. Only a few select people know what it is that I want to do, and I’m
comfortable with that. This plan is currently only part way complete. But I’m
confident in my ability not to fuck this up.

As some of you may know I love long journeys [providing I have a
book and my iPod]. And soon I’m about to embark on a set of
journeys which sees me doing about fourteen hours worth of
travel in three days. On this Thursday I will be travelling by bus
from Bangor to Aberystwyth for a night of drunken madness with
Stephanie Luff and Goog Hart. Getting drunk in a place I have never
been before is always a solid plan by the way.

Plus I like to see places I have never seen before. I am staying in
Aberystwyth overnight and in the morning catching a bus from
Aberystwyth to Cardiff the capital city of Wales to see my friend
Azita who I have featured on my photoblog and of whom I’ve not
seen in ages. If you having trouble visualising this journey
I have included a map below.

As you can see, this isn’t a ‘small trip’ I am actually going from A to B
and Back Again. Meaning that I am going one one side of the country
to the other. The long way.

A is Bangor
B is Cardiff
And that little squiggly bit in the middle is Aberystwyth.

I should probably take two books, just in case.

Another thing that I mention in a previous post was the list of so many things
had to do before I died. This list isn’t complete but has already Sixty-One items
listed [if you would like to suggest an item to go on the list feel free]. Item
Twenty-Two was to visit a Zoo. As this was something that I had never done
before. So on the 25th Of February my friend Heather Torrance and I visited
the Colwyn Bay Zoo in Wales and it was awesome :] I really enjoyed it and I
took a photo [as this is one of the rules of the list ‘where possible retain
photographic proof’] So below is a photograph of the polaroid of Heather and I
with a Bear in the background [although hard to see, he is there, honest]

This photograph is taken in the same style as the Polaroid shot in the last
post. Mainly because I like to show the camera the photograph came from
and also because I really lack a scanner in Wales.

This was actually an awesome day. As well as seeing the Bears [yes, there
were two] I saw Camels, Penguins, Monkeys, Flamingos, Seals, Crocodiles,
Tigers, an Arctic Fox and all manner of animals that I had never actually
seen in real life.  Only in books or on television.

I’ve no idea why I had yet to visit a Zoo before that day. Then again I’ve
never been to an Ikea store yet either.

I hopefully should be getting visitors soon which will be
epic, as the last visitor I had [Andrew James Murrock]
I’m sure had an amazing time here :] plus I kind of enjoy
people visiting and me showing them around and what
not. I get to play host as well, which is a plus, haha.

The main reason that this post took forever to write was not it’s
length as this was written in one sitting [which I apologise if the
writing style is odd, but hey] was the fact that this is the 200th
post on this blog. THAT’S RIGHT THE 200TH!!!

Awesome yeah?

And as of writing this post this blog has had 13,094 views. So that’s
65.8 views for every post. That’s figure has been rounded down and
also doesn’t include this post as that wouldn’t make sense. I’m quite
surprised that I managed to keep this thing going. Even though there
were quite a few gaps.

Because this was the 200th post I didn’t want to write just
anything which meant that things kind of kept building up
and building up leading to this mega-post. Over 1000 words
as it seems. Oh, one more thing before I go, recently I have
started using my Vimeo account alot more and posted these
videos on it. I have [hopefully] embedded three examples
below, hope you like.

Calm from Richard Anthony Morris on Vimeo.

For The Bird from Richard Anthony Morris on Vimeo.

Couldn’t Resist Recording The Escalator from Richard Anthony Morris on Vimeo.

Laters.
Over And Out.

[funwithpolaroidsofpeoplewhoareawesome]

About two or three months ago whilst perusing the
overlooked boxes of the local charity I came across
a great little camera. A Polaroid Supercolour 635.
Basically a polaroid camera that takes the standard
600 film. Just in case you were unaware I had broken
my other Polaroid camera. [we dont talk about it]

So obviously I bought it. For about £3. Love it.

But I had to wait till I visited home earlier this
month because I hadn’t packed the film with me
and it is increasingly hard to get these days. So
whilst I was back I put some into my bag [to be
honest I should blog on my time back, oh well].

So, I had ten photographs left. I had the first one taken
whilst Andrew and I were in the Storm FM studio.
The second I took on Bangor Pier. And the third….

When you only have ten photos left in a camera
and with no idea where your next lot is coming
from or indeed if that next lot will ever come
about. You make sure the photos are worthwhile.

Title:
[fun with polaroids of people who are amazing]
Alt Titles:
[you’re so cool I’d waste a polaroid on you]
[you’re so cool, I’d actually waste a polaroid just have you in it]

[absent minded]

There are some people that when they stare into
space for a period of time will remark that they
were thinking of nothing.

There are some people that when they stare into
space for a period of time will remark that they
were thinking of everything.

Either way it doesn’t mean that you’re gonna
find out what it is that they were thinking
about.

[every road sign’s a reminder of exactly why we do this to begin with]

I am in a very strange place right now. Even
though that strange place is home.

Now that I live in Bangor that word has become less than
exclusive. I am able to call both Wales and England home,
and it feels very strange. I’m kind of finding it hard to
describe.

When I’m in one place it feels like I’m missing
out on opportunities in the other place. I call
both places home but also feel slightly estranged
from both. Which also makes me think as to
what I’m going to do when this Bangor based
adventure ends.

Do I stay in Bangor? If I do, I would have to find
somewhere else to live which I suppose wouldn’t
be amazingly difficult but at the same time. I would
have ‘done’ Bangor if that makes sense. I would of have
had the experience of it, which is probably a better
way to say it.

Do I return to my hometown? And if I do this,
I would probably have to think about actually finding
a career for the rest of my life and sort that out. But
to me that seems incredibly boring. Incredibly.

Or just disappear again. To pop back to hometown
after I have to move out of Bangor and within a couple
of months slip away again to another place/country.

The thing about this is that I have the worse
habit of not actually telling people that I’m
going away. And for some reason I can that
as being one of my character flaws. But on
the other side of that. I NEED to see the world.

I can’t just say to myself at twenty-two years old that
where I am is where I am going to be forever.

I just can’t.

I’m pretty sure I know which one of the three it’s going to
be. And I’m pretty sure you do too.

It’s not often that a primarily good person has to
make the choice between being selfish or not.
And picks the road that leads to selfishness.

But the truth is I haven’t really got anything tying me
down to anywhere. Oh the joys of beings me. It’s ok
to be envious just so’s you know.

[so fragile we are. so fragile we are we just don’t show it]

This is true.

I heard this line whilst listening to Gym Class Heroes song. And it
popped into my head that this is true. Well to me anyways, no
matter how fragile I may or may not feel people in general will
not have a clue because I rarely let people see that side to me.

The last time I can remember it happening was many
years ago. And I doubt it will be happening any time
soon, but, this doesn’t stop me being the person that’s
there when things go wrong.

I have seen the ‘fragile side’ shall we say of quite a few of the people
that I know and the strange thing is that I know for a fact that if
something went majorly for me, I would probably lie and say that
all is fine and devote some time to sorting it out on my own.

But hey, it stops people worrying about me, which is
what I like, I hate when people worry about me
because I always feel like they have better things to
be doing with there time.

I’m sure that one day I’ll grow out of this and allow myself
to be fragile with someone. But therein lies the rub, because
the moment I let myself enter that world of personal fragility
I will probably open my life to this person, everything that I
had always lied about, all the anxieties that I had ever had.
And that I’m sure I could never do.

Oh and the Gym Class Heroes song is ‘Shoot Down
The Stars’. It’s a good song, give it a listen.

[facebook status leads to poetry]

So having recently looked back on the haikus and
poems on this blog with Jeni I noticed something
quite worrying. It had been a while since  I had
posted any sort of poetry up and in that also realised
that it had been just as long since I had written a poem.

The problem is inspiration and not knowing what to write
about. I had actually forgotten this worrying thought when
this morning [whilst too tired to get out of bed] I updated
my status on Facebook. Just saying ‘tired’ and this led to
my flatmate commenting, and in the end resulted in me
making poetry.

I’m kinda happy about that.

In case you can’t read it, as it seems to have become bad quality
I’ll rewrite them.

Me –
I have a finite amount of days upon this mortal ride,
And it seems that sleep runs like a thief through my tired mind.
Stealing not gold nor items of much worth,
But only the time I have on this Earth.

Will –
But surely in sleep we discover our dreams,
Where mortal reality is ripped at the seams.
It is this that gives us our hopes and desires,
Till the day we march on to our own funeral pyres.

Me –
But with hopes and desires already considered,
There possibility having faded and withered.
Means that sleeps, the art of subtle realisation,
becomes nothing more that a practice in self deprecation.

I guess that poetic Richard is back.

[and these are the rules by which I play]

Ok so tonight has re-proved something that I
already knew, I should probably start the
story at the start.

I would describe myself as cheeky but with an underlying
sense or morals and decency that some would [and have]
define as being a gentlemen.

So this is why when a member of the opposite sex
is making a pass a few things need to taken into
consideration, the first is whether she has been
drinking and how much, if it is too much in
comparison to me, I would walk her to her friends
or walk her home to make sure she got back OK.

Secondly, you have to look into the eyes, it’s a strange thing
to just say as a sentence so I’ll put it into a scenario. I left
a local club called Time and on the walk home I put my music
in [it’s actually a two minute walk, but I love my music] and
without realising it I was singing the Simon & Garfunkel song
‘The Sound Of Silence’ and whilst walking noticed a shadow
walking astride mine. So I popped back the hood of my flatmates
jacket and saw a girl giving me a cute smile saying

“I really liked your singing by the way”

Without a hint of sarcasm [which is what you would have expected
had you heard my voice] and that when I noticed what was in her
eyes. It was what I usually have in mine which is a hint of
romantasism. I know it sounds strange but it is true.

And that’s why I said thank you for your compliment
and kindly made my way down my road, I don’t know
what it was but it was that hint in her eye that made
me think that she|

[ok as I’m writing this I’m finding it hard to put my thoughts
into words, which is annoying, so I’m leaving that part open
which sadly means that this part of the post is
non-conclusionary and for that I apologise]

What I must say though is that Mum must have
done a good job.