I’ve never really been one for Dating.

I have never really been one for going on “dates” and generally I don’t go on them. Dates, to me, seem too false. You meet up with somebody and try to present yourself as an amazing person, witty, smart and fun to be around.

I usually compare people on dates to people who go for interviews for jobs that they don’t really want. You see these people being interviewed and they seem to present themselves as perfect for the role they have applied for. It’s only when you get them in the office/shop floor/wherever that you realised that all that time you invested in your new employee was actually wasted and they’re a bit of a dick that you can’t bare to be around for more than five minutes.

My own personal experience could be a big reason for my aversion to dating. As it goes, I was once on my way to a date and with about 5 minutes before I got to the pub where we said we were going to meet it suddenly occurred to me that I had no idea what her name was. At all. When I first met her I gave her a nickname and that’s what I called her. The date itself came about in strange circumstances. My boss had sent me out to get something for her and I had started talking to the lady behind the till [because I tend to be able to strike up conversation with anybody] and after purchasing the items for my boss was about to leave but was asked for my number. At that point in time I didn’t really want to give anybody my number. So, and I have felt slightly bad since, I gave her my fake number. And thought I got out of there ok, there was a short period where I thought I may have given her my real number but two weeks went by and I realised there were no phone calls or texts so I thought all to be well and that I had got away with my cruel misdead.

But nothing in life is that easy.

I had forgotten that during our chat, before I realised the road it had gone down, I had told here where it was that I had worked. Bad move. At the time I had worked in a very popular camera shop and a customer and his wife were in looking at binoculars. He picked up a pair and his wife said that she was going to look at another shop. And I thought that if he was going to play with binoculars I will too. So I picked up a pair and saw a blurry figure in the distance waving. So, me thinking it was the customers wife paid no mind [the customer and I were both looking in the same direction], but the blurry figure kept waving so I pulled it into focus and in a moment of terror I realised that it was that girl from the shop that I was looking at. And although it sounds like something from a terrible movie, I promise you it actually happened. The customer noting this said “Friend of yours?”. My reply being “Not exactly”.

So when she came into the shop and told me that she had tried the number and hadn’t been able to get through. So I feigned shock and surprise and she said that she was going to dial it and see if my phone went off. At that point I had to give her my actual number as she was standing there and I felt a little guilty [and needless to say cornered] because she had gone to all the trouble of tracking me down.

So, back to the date.

Girl [whose name to this day I cannot remember, the best I can tell you was that it started with either a J or K was late. Now this bugged me quite a bit, because I never like sitting in a pub by myself at the best of times and had to make friends with the people next to me. It’s easy enough done, but still hassle. She arrived and I still had no idea what to call her so I went with “Babe” and it worked well. But to be honest, throughout most of this date I just wanted to go home. I don’t know how people who date do it. Sitting there making small talk, trying not to make it to obvious that you’re bored witless.

Eventually [thank God] one of her friends came along and I managed to catch what her name was. That memory only lasted about 15 minutes.  And we met up with another of her friends. This guy, it was so obvious to tell that he liked “Babe” and she was totally oblivious. And he didn’t like me till I called him on it. With my trademark “So…How long have you fancied XX”. Looking stunned he admitted it was a long time. I really just wanted to go home.

It was later suggested that we went to a night club. I hate night clubs, and I really hated the night club we were going to. But I went, mainly because I had white trainers on and thought I wouldn’t be able to get in and could go round my friend’s house to watch some movies. As you have probably gathered I didn’t really have a romantic interest with this girl and I was kind of going along with it all. But, as I have said before in this post,

nothing in life is that easy.

He let me in! The bouncer who had been turning people away left right and centre let me in with jeans and white [muddy white] trainers. The night gets hazy from that point on but I remember [probably] kissing her and waking up at her house. Where I pulled out my patented ‘leave as early as possible’ manoeuvre. If I have slept round your house you know what I mean.

With this experience is it surprising that I don’t really go on dates. It seems so strange. For two people who barely [and in some cases don’t] know each other having to sit over dinner/movie/in a  bar and mandatorily be expect to have a good time in each others company. I swear that’s how they try and get pandas to mate, and it doesn’t work.

I’m sure there are worse stories of dating. A blog that I have recently started to read about dating is called – Book Editors You should check it out if funny
and a good read. Click the name above to go through to the blog.

This is the first post I have written for this blog in a long while and it’s kind of written in the style that I had lost, with which I had started this blog to begin with. It actually only came about because of a conversation I had today with a friend on mine as she was recounting her dating stories and this one just popped into my head. Well, hopefully you’ve enjoyed what you have read if you would like to see my photography blog feel free to click the link below.

Also feel free to add me on Twitter my onscreen name is: squarebrackets

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