[i want to go home, i want to go home]

The title of this blog is actually the line I was
repeating to my boss from about ten past six
to seven today [it didn’t help, because I left
at seven which is the time I was meant to be
working] and this is because at about ten to
five today I completely lost the will to work
anymore. So you can understand that by
about six I was really going insane.

As mentioned in a previous blog, I am being
made redundant and by that I basically mean
that by no fault of my own I won’t have a job
come the 19th of July this year [next month
basically] and at first I took this as a laugh [as
I tend to do] but it is actually getting more and
more apparent.

Now I know that the amount of people at
work who have ever read this blog are
small and the percentage of those few
that read it to begin with who still do is
pretty much zero. So I can be totally honest
if I feel I want to. And I do.

And the truth is that I will miss everyone
there a great deal. Because the truth about life
is, when I go the chances of constantly hanging
out with this [quite diverse and incredibly
interesting] group of people goes with it.
Because as we all know, once you leave a
school/college/workplace you don’t really stay
in touch with the friends you’ve made in these
places unless you live quite close. Which, I’m
afraid to say I do not. And coupled with the fact
I find it incredibly hard to stay in touch with
people will inevitably come out a negative result

I have been taking up things to distract me
from these thoughts as they swirl and swirl
around my head, like taking up piano again
or looking to start [actually] writing a
novel/short story. But it does all come back
to the fact that everything about this sucks.

It really does.

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10 responses to “[i want to go home, i want to go home]

  1. yourownpersonalmonster

    well that sucks! ):

    mmm,yeah i guess. i was trying to be careful, but there wasn’t really anything i could do.
    he still isn’t talking to me,
    which is just hurting me because he is my best friend and i need him.
    and i’m trying to keep things normal, but if he won’t talk to me, i can’t. and now i’m afraid to lose him. /:

  2. I think I might know how you feel, but I probably don’t so I can’t say anything. I’m sorry… the only thing I can say is that life goes on, for some reason. I often can’t grasp it either. I think it’s good to try to stay in tough anyway, even if you think it won’t work. It might. (For me, it did, but it’s also very complicated so I’ll shut up)

  3. hey I don’t like those smileys, here’s a better one:
    :]

  4. yourownpersonalmonster

    i hope he starts talking to me again.
    i can not lose another best friend.
    it would kill me.

    may i ask why you’re losing your job? /:

  5. yourownpersonalmonster

    he talked to me last night. but ugh,whatever.

    well that blows. ):

  6. yourownpersonalmonster

    yeah, he’s talking again.
    and being the biggest dick ever.
    and that’s what the whatever was for.
    just because he liked me, doesn’t me i deserve to be treated like shit.
    i didn’t do anything. |:

  7. yourownpersonalmonster

    i dunno, it keeps getting worse.
    like last night i remember today was father’s day, and i got kind of upset because well, i don’t really have a daddy. so i was talking to him about it, and he got pissed at me for not “taking his advice” and wanting to watch juno instead.
    it was like one in the morning, and his advice was to write my dad a letter telling him how i felt.
    AT ONE IN THE MORNING!
    ugh,he’s being an ass.
    but it doesn’t matter.

    /:

  8. yourownpersonalmonster

    sorry,that was probably really annoying.
    haha.

  9. I think you’re a girl. I mean that in the most positive sense of the words. Or maybe I should just say that you are more in touch with your feminine side? Or is that worse? I’m sorry, but I truly understand what you’re saying here.

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