Monthly Archives: October 2008

[am i going downtown for halloween]

[fuck no, I’m going uptown with my
best friend Tommi]

[this is what I wore last year and I’m
thinking of doing it again this year,
but better]



[i’m also going to photoin an awesome
band, oh and if you were wondering
who i am amongst this lot, i’m the guy
in the bloodied up lab coat]

[more eye make up and blood this year
me thinks]

[actually to be honest, i’m going to
uptowns downtown, but hey, it’s
better than downtowns uptown]

[oh oh oh, and i forgot the awesome
bit, i may actually get to wear it at
work 2morrow as well] [this is awesome
to me]

[i carry you in my heart]

Is it worth settling?

I would like to clarify, by ‘settling’
I am not talking about ‘settling down’
with a family, thats a different blog
for a different day.

What I mean by settling is in reference
to when we settle, as to, make do.

I have been considering this recently,
do I settle for what has come along or
do I wait even longer for what [in my
mind at least] is perfect for me.

As chidren we are taught [mainly by
films and telelvision], that what [and
some cases all] we want is just
around the corner, our dream job,
our perfect partner, all of our goals
attainable if we hang on to the belief
that if we wait little bit longer it will
all come along for us.

But is it worth it?

I mean life isn’t like the movies or
television and it’s not like we have
forever to be messing around. So
why do we waste time?

On the other hand, it’s hope. Hope
that we will be rewarded for our
sacrifices and patience. And sometimes
we are. And of course alot of the time
we are not.

A little story from personal experience,
I  waited once, waited for quite some
time. And then gave in and gave up.
Simple as that, moved on. And you
know what. Kind of annoyed I did,
that I didn’t have the patience.

This blog seems to be going on a bit.
So I shall summise, people wait, wait
for that special thing. But must also
ask themselves why they are waiting,
what is it that is holding them back
and what is it that has them scared.

What is it that stands in your way?

[mini trips and notepads]

It took a trip to London to get
my photography. Now by that,
I don’t mean someone took it
and then I finally caught up
to them in London.

I could have found it because I
hadn’t been up to London in a
while, maybe, or it was most
likely to do with my love of
The City at nighttime.

Anyways it now occurs to me that:

I have an OK paying job
I have my lovely Pentax K1000
And… [above all else]
An urge to see places I’ve yet to see

So with a combination of cheap
tickets and crappy airlines I think
I’m going to do a bit more exploring.

First I think I’ll stick to France
and inside the UK as these can
be done with day trips but then
I’m gonna broaden my horizons

Fuck it, what else is a passport
for

=]

[white polaroid]



[a completely white polaroid. this
was created by mistake, but hey,
it looks kool and i made it]

[this is also on my flickr] [go check
it out]

[http://www.flickr.com/photos/squarebrackets/]

[i think i know why i dislike celebrities]

Today at work, out of nowhere
I random remembered a thing
that me and my mum used to
do when I was a kid, which
sometimes [only rarely and
sometimes to extradite myself
from social situations] I still
do.

On a Saturday we would go
through the newspaper and
armed only with a biro we would
go through defacing random
celebrities. For no reason but
to see what we would come up
with.

I know this is random but it
could explain my distaste for
anything resembling the world
of celebrity. So for a laugh, when
I got home I grabbed a newspaper
and had some fun.

[examples below] =]



[done with the Guardian G2 I had lying
around my bedroom]

[the last one weirds me out tbh]

[guardian g2 crossword]



[kinda says it all really, lol]

[a good moment]

I came home just now to
a good moment. In the
kitchen there was a big
bottle of Pepsi Max and
four pancakes my mum
had cooked this morning

[score]

[oh and thanks for the
confidence in my writing skill
monster, lol]

[old paper blog]

[the blog below was written ages ago, when I still
lived in London, and was meant to go on my old
livejournal, but I could never be bothered to resize
them] [it was scanned in and now that my old
laptop was fixed I found it] [enjoy].

[p.s my handwriting is terrible]

[cancel the thing that i say i do]

My ability to take a good photo seems
to have been fading. I realised this a
while ago and this was also coupled
with the realisation that I could do better
artwork [photography/poetry/etc].

I have decided that now is the time to
expand. Obviously not physically, but
instead, artistically.

I found my first SLR which I am
actually sad to say was in the
cupboard with the rest of my cameras.
It’s a Pentax K1000 35mm SLR Film
Camera .

[and thanks to a generous customer
from some time ago, I now have
more film than I can use] [About
18 rolls].

I’m going to carry my Pentax around
everywhere like I used too [obviously
not to the gig on Friday, that’d be
strange] [actually I might].

So heres to a new sideline project,
to respark my talent [I know that’s
big-headed but other people have
said it too me].

[I’m also going to be trying to do some
polaroid photograms tomorrow at work].
[Hoping they go well].

As well as that, I am going to use
my notepad at least twice a day, as
opposed to just having it in my bag.
Which is a problem, but hey, I’m working
on it.

x

[questioning views on my maturity]

Because of my ability to find something
funny out of pretty much nothing.

[this ability has actually got me through
some tough times in life] [almost a year,
yay]

I can often be seen as immature. As seen
in this blog entry below from my ex-gf’s
blog on her myspace;

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=59549277&blogID=441733135

The thing is I am mature. And I know,
the fact I have made a blog to say that
I am mature is quite an immature act
in itself. But, reading that blog has
actually got to me a little bit and has
been playing on my mind.

Now Alex isn’t the first person
to say that I’m immature but it’s
quite strange hearing it from her.
Some of the other remarks that
other people have said are
that ‘I’m wasting my life’ and that
‘I lack dedication’.

I mostly take these with a smile
and a nod. But they do get to
me. Is this really how people
see me? Guess it is.

Because like I said I am mature.
Just in my own special way and
when the moment calls for it.

I come up with the answers, make
the decisions for people and help
them out in the most random
of situations and [although I’m
not sure how true this is] may
have actually saved someones
life [looong story, never gonna
blog].

I do have a plan though, a plan
for my life, the future. I am just
not telling anyone. Because I
have realised that dreams can
mess up if you tell too many
people.

[what am i missing out on, honestly]

The title of this blog has so much
potential and I may end up using
the same title for a different blog
completely [and just stick a two on
the end]. So.

With the volume of which I constantly
have my music, not only am I steadily
making myself deaf. But, I am also
missing out on many of life’s precious
auditory sensations.

Except for, if you count the sound that
sparked this blog [which was the high
pitched squeal of a bus door closing]
or maybe it was the screams of a
mother as her pram [with child as well]
went hurtling towards the ground because
she had decided to put too many
shopping bags on the back of said pram.

[just want to say, the weight of the
bags greatly exceeded that of the
child and also prams are not designed
for this. and if you get annoyed that
your child keeps going back, stop
trying to break the basic laws of physics]

I’m probably not missing out on
much.

[lol, this blog had wayyy more
potential, in title and content. I
shall revisit at a later date]

[sos] [but i’m back now, so, yay]

Not really been writing much
recently, not really sure what
to write to be honest.

So I focused on my Flickr. If you
want to see anymore of my
photography and illustrations
[basically wayyy more than you’d
see on here] follow the links below.


[add me as a contact if you like]

[massive silence, turn away] [poem]

As we see our silence,
Growing into nothing,
I use this lack of words,
As my way to tell you something.

So as you must have figured out,
I’ve never been good with words,
I can tell you stories for a hundred years,
And never once being able to grasp their worth
.

[I was trying to write a third
stanza for this poem but didn’t
wanna rush it and amybe ruin it]

[about me page updated]

Not by much to be honest,
but hey, it’s a change that
I feel should be acknowledged
.

[also…]

[i cut shapes to sex on fire]

[if you know what i’m talking about
you’d be laughing right now]

[trust me, you would]

x

[jesus christ thats a pretty face]

First off,

Happy Birthday Andrew

[otherwise known as
http://mrhappy88.wordpress.com]
[I’ll probably see you before you
read this anyways]

This week has actually been pretty
decent. Celebrated three birthdays,
played a gig, rested up, went out
for the majority of the nights and
had constant good times.

Oh and realised I suck at bowling.

I find it increasingly hard to
summise these days for some
reason. Probably because I am
fully aware of how I can waffle
on. Lets just say this, for the
most part, life is good.

Can’t really ask for more than
that.

[I’ve actually realised that this
is quite a short blog, hmmm]