[getting ready for the get gone]

Well it seems that the end for Bangor [in terms of
me being here] are looming ever closer. In just
over a week I’ll be leaving Bangor. Of course I’ll
return but it won’t be the same as I won’t be living
here.

At the moment as I sit in my room that is looking a little
more bare than it did last week. And it makes me think
of Scrubs for some strange reason. In particular the last
episode of Season 8 when JD leaves Sacred Heart. And how
he was goping for the massive goodbye. Which as we know
in life, doesn’t happen.

So, I pack my things, the majority of my things
anyways. I didn’t pack my cameras away as I have a
feeling that I may need to use any of them at any
given time. Yes, I am that geeky. For further
evidence of this look below.

I know, awesome right?

I don’t have much else to write except that my jaw hurts
if I open it too wide which makes yawning and eating
quite painfull but at least my feet have healed and I’m
able to walk around without feeling epic pain

Also, not having a job is really fucking boring.

[edit]

[people think an edit is just for text, they are wrong]

It is soon time to perform yet another edit on my life.
I have done it before, taken my life, looked it over, seen
what parts are not needed and removed them.

My attitude, demeanour and way of life is wrong.
Although it has led to an overwhelming confidence.
A sort of ‘don’t give a fuck view on life’ as it has been
described. And although this is a great way to live
[don't get me wrong], it also leads to laziness in
achieving goals. A sort of  ’wait and see’ that can go
on for months.

So what Im going to do is look at my life and adjust, a few
simple measures to make sure that life runs as it should.
A general action that one must goes through during an edit
is to look at your social network. Firstly your online social
network. This is your Facebook, Twitter, Myspace and so
on and seriously consider how many of your ‘friends’ or
‘followers’ you actually interact with. When you realise all
the ones you don’t, delete them. I have found that my
online social networks are riddles with crap on my behalf,
this will change as part of the edit.

Oh, and if they notice you have deleted them and
message you then you may have made a mistake
and should consider taking them back.

That’s the start of an edit and one of the easiest parts. Now
that you’ve done an erase you must now rearrange and
rework parts of yourself. Look at your best features and
keep those and the thing that you don’t like, get rid. For
instance, looking at myself, I’m not that bad at socialising
and ask anybody who knows me and they’ll know how
easy I can make friends. But I quite dislike my lack of
dedication towards a goal and how easy it is for me to
get distracted.

And after you’ve done all that, make a list of
actions, a list of rules that you will live by for
the next month or so, just to prove to yourself
that you have some form of willpower.

I’ve already done these for a month a few
times so I’ve decided that the rules below are going to
start soon [within the next two weeks] and carry on for
a year;

To only get drunk a maximum of once a week
To no longer eat of fast food [this rule is not applicable whilst drunk]
Increase my productivity
Do not waste time
Read more
Don’t just make plans
I’m hoping this edit will go well as it needs to be done
over some time to be successful. With this new way of
life I should be able to be more proactive in sorting
everything out including but not limited to my future
career.

Over and out.

[the coolest t-shirt I have ever owned]

I present to you, the offensive shirt.

[it all started with a newspaper | part one]

My life at the moment and pretty much every
major thing that has happened in my life in recent
years is the result of my popping into my sisters
office and some unknown reason reading the
newspaper in 2005.

Now, back then this was pretty much an unknown thing,
me randonly popping into my sisters for one and reading
a newspaper for the other. Anyways whilst looking through
this paper I saw a job advertisement for a photogrpaher.

Now, although the job was based in Maidstone,
the interview was in Bromley. I had never been
to Bromley before so getting there was a bit of a
hassle [three very specific trains, on specific
routes, a lot more awkward than the route I later
figured out].

So I went for the interview and pretty knew there was no way I
was getting the job, they wanted somebody who was available
all the time and I was still at college. Ah well, but looking back
I do wonder how things would have been if I had got that job.

But anyway, I digress, upon leaving the interview
I had decided to have a walk around Bromley, seeing
as it was new and during my walk I happened upon
the Market Square branch of Jessops [a popular
photographic retailer] and thought that it would
do no harm to hand in a C.V to the shop.

This would turn out to be one of those of handed decisions that
would affect my whole life because, as it goes, I got an interview.

Which I failed.

And to be honest I was kind of glad, it took two hours to get to
work and the journey seemed long and arduous to tell you the
truth. I really wasn’t up to it, every day.

Although a job at Jessops would have been much
better [and interesting that working at Mothercare]
and would have helped me as well seeming that at
the time I was studying Photography at college so
the money off things would have been awesome.

It was then that I was told that my C.V had been forwarded to the
other branch of Jessops that was based in Bromley, only this one
was inside the Glades  a shopping centre that I had missed upon
my first visit to the town [just so's you know Jessops has shops
all over the country and that interview went as such,

Nash - "So you're Richard then"
Me - "Yes"
Nash - "So what's your shirt size then?"

One of the shortest interviews on record I am sure [about as sure
as I am that these things are rarely recorded]. So I left Mothercare
and started to work for Jessops and thats when things got
interesting.

A photo of me just after I started at Jessops, I would have
been about 18 or so years old.

I’ll continue this story from time to time, writing it all in one go was
quite daunting. So make do with just this bit at the moment, which
to be honest you should have figured from the title of the post.

Hopefully this will be the start of me using my blog again
and hopefully that’ll mean using Flickr, Tumblr, twitter
and all the other sites I’ve been ignoring.

[don't get offended if i seem absent minded]

For those of you who were wondering about the novel
[as I have received questions from about four people]
it stalled for a while. Which is totally my fault to be
honest. It’s because it’s part of my nature for some reason
to start things and not finish. I think photography was
the only hobby that actually stuck throughout my life.
Most others died pretty quickly.

I will be changing that though, this isn’t just a blog
saying how I failed and that’s it. No. This post is
basically to inform that I am going to now try even
harder. This novel WILL be completed there is no
doubt about that. I’m even more determined these days,
basically as I have nothing to do and have wasted days
recently. That isn’t a just a saying. I have actually been
wasting days. Oh well.

I’m going to Dublin in Ireland soon. Which should be
awesome. Been wanting to go there for a while and the
fact that the flight only cost £2 you cannot argue
with that.

I’m probably going to place another post up in a little
while, just for the fact that I’ve had an idea in my head
for a day or two now.

Ah well. Oh and I’ve also been thinking of doing a
video blog soon, which should be interesting. As I
have no idea what I ‘d be able to say in a video
blog that I couldn’t just write down. Any ideas?

Actually yeah. Any ideas??

That’s a thought. If there is anything that you would
want my to vlog on. Leave a comment :]

[i'm in love with your daughter, i wanna have her babies]

Because when I got in from work today I
was stupid enough to get comfortable on
my bed and fell asleep for several hours.

So this meant that I wasn’t able to sleep
last night which is annoying as I’m up now
and I need to be at work in less than two hours,
so I thought that I would write a blog entry,
it has been a while. Hasn’t it?

First off, in regards to the previous post, and
for those that don’t know I started writing
a book when I was really bored in the
departure lounge of an airport and recently
found it again and placed the first chapter
on wordpress as a blog [the aforementioned
'previous' blog] and it got generally good
feedback. Apart from a few grammatical
mistakes, it was all good. If you’ve not read
it, please do and comment. I sent a message
on Facebook to my favourite author Mike Gayle
and he like it. So that was awesome. Only
annoying thing is that the second chapter
is terrible in comparasion so that needs alot
of re-writing.

I went to Facedown on Friday. Which is a
once monthly club night held in Scala in
Kings Cross in London. And I don’t think that
I’ll be going again for some time. And this
isn’t because I had a terrible time. It’s because
it was probably one of the best nights out
I have had in a long time. And I don’t think
I need to go out for a while because of how great
that night was, other nights won’t really be
able to compare.

I may have a part-time job sorted for when I leave
Jessops in less than two weeks.

I got Regina Spektor’s new album [that's what
the title is about] and it’s actually pretty good.
I’ve had a quick listen to La Roux’s album and
also the new album by Jack Penate. Definite
buy’s for when I get some more money

I may have an actual website soon, but it’ll most
likely be a link site for my flickr and this blog and
so forth. And there you go, a four hundred word catch
up blog on what I have been up to recently.

I didn’t sleep last night, this feels odd. Although
the Sunrise this morning probably worth it. But
now I look outside it seems to be raining.

["it's ok to show weakness you know"]

“it’s ok to show weakness you know”

Drunken words from a close friend
of mine that still ring around in my
head. She’s probably forgotten she said
them.

[my views on your views on your religion]

Honestly I couldn’t care what your beliefs
are. As long as you’ve found something
that gets you through the day and also
means that you respect those around you.

The seems to be a strange trend among
my contemporaries to have a major
dislike towards religion and the believers
therein. If a man [or woman] is seen on
the high street [or where ever] and is
seen to be trying to inact other people
into his/her faith. My friends tend to
mock and see them as fools. Sometimes
going up to them and trying to pull
apart the belief it may have taken them
years to build up.

But. Like I said, they have something
to get them through the emptiness that
is sometimes life.

Faith is a strange thing. And it is also
something that I don’t think I could do,
to think that I would live my life trying
to abide by the rules of a being I cannot
physically see to go somewhere after
death I couldn’t possibly comprehend.

Ah well. Do what you like, just be happy.

[note to self]

I was going through the guardian’s website
randomly looking up articles. Much like I
do on Wikipedia, I read one thing then tend
to follow a link on a related subject and I
can fall into this endless quest for knowledge
for about two or three hours. It’s a bad habit
and I should be reading my backlog of books,
but, I’m finding it fun these days to read up
on things that surprisingly interest me.

Anyways, whilst looking I came across an
article based around an older article by
Stephen Fry [who is, by all accounts, a
bit of a god]. In the article he basically
wrote a letter to his sixteen year old self.

It’s a lovely article and I really think you
should read it. If you want too click [here]
and if you want to read the original article
click [here]. What I though I would do
would be to write a letter to my eighteen
year old self.

Heya Rich,

Now I know your not a big fan of being called
Rich over Richard, but trust me, it’s one of
the meeker things that change in your life
over the next three or so years. A big one
would be that that bad habit you kind of
started yesterday, comes back stronger and
its gets much worse, but it does go away, trust
me. And you learn how to  deal with things
better. It takes a long time and a major ordeal
with a loved one, but it goes away. I’m not going
to lie, you will think about it alot, you learn
to deal, trust me.

Your little bro, finally starts to take an interest
in music and you and him start a little band
together like Jackie and Keith always said you
should. You do the vocals whilst he plays and
to date, you’ve made a handfull of songs which
you can be proud of. And you’ve received a few
nice comments along the way.

You actually are what can be considered a heavy
drinker these days. You kinda drift in and out of
it from time to time. So look out for that and don’t
take it too far.

You still practice photography, but in my mind
thats all we do, practice. There have been a few
weddings, ALOT of gigs and some parties. You’ll
find that that habit of being able to get along with
anyone works amazingly. Never lose that. Ever.

If I could ask you to do one thing, thats to try hard
at college. I’m not saying that you will be unhappy
in three or so years, but you will wonder from time
to time. So concentrate and get it done, and most
importantly get it done well. Theres not much else to
say to you really, you will have some amazing
experiences and obviously ones that are so terrible that
all you can do is take lessons from them.

Thats it, done. Blah.

[museum day is fast approaching]

On the 18th of May it is International Museum
Day, a random fact for me to give you I am
sure, but hey,

http://icom.museum/imd.html

I’ve got a busy few days ahead of me, I’ve got
to go out tomorrow night. Which although
is nowhere near the norm I do believe it will
go on until the morning hours of Saturday
morning.

Then I have to go to work. This is making
me giggle while I write this because it’s
been a while. Then I have to try to get out
of work early. Because straight afterwards
I’m going to Brighton. Top fun. Lucky I have
Sunday off hey.

I’m actually looking forward to Brighton as
well because I haven’t been in ages, like two
years methinks.

Recently I was tidying my room and came
across a novel I was yet to read thorugh and
then I found another, and another, and
another so I decided to list them. I have to
read 23 books with a page count over 7000.

This is going to take forever, good thing
I like reading so damn much, or maybe
it’s the buying books side of it? =]

[perhaps this is as good as it gets]

I have noticed something new about
myself, that, to be honest, I’m not
enjoying. Everything gets to me, all
of it. My mind has somehow lost the
ability to filter out the crap that
get thrown around on a daily basis.
Even things that have nothing to do
with me now have the power to wind
me up

And because of this I find moments of
calm [and not to re-reference myself,
happiness] further and further apart.
And this has now further led to me
disliking everything. I am not ready
to become this cynical person just yet.

Yet it is happening. I have actually
started to ignore people talking. Regardless
if it is about or too me. I just phase out
and even still when I blank out my mind
is blank.

But as always, I will find a way to turn
it around. Have done so before many
times and with situations much worse
than this.

One thought that does reoccur though,
regardless of where I am or what I’m
doing is that I feel I should be doing
much more than I’m currently doing.

But whenever I say ‘Do you ever hope
for more than there is?’ I receive no
answer, oh well. Time to pack it all
in and start again.

I’ll start on Monday, hopefully. Is
this as good as it gets?

[flights of fancy]

So, I’ve been away, since Monday I’ve
been in Wales visiting my friend
Tabitha. Wales [and more specifically
Bangor] was great. I actually fell in
love with Bangor pier.

Me and Tabs went to Conwy, it’s a
small town with a castle wall surrounding
it. It’s a lovely town and the ride there
and back was quite nice. I actually
spent the majority of the bus ride
letting my mind wander and flutter
around. It’s actually quite fun.

I like when my mind flutters and it
kind of worries me that I’ve only just
regained the talent, I had a few poems
in mind whilst we were on the bus and
visiting the pier, they were bouncing
around my mind yearning to be written
down but then a solitary house atop a
mountain would come along and I’d
forget it. Oh well.

Wales was ace.

Yep.

[summer]

Just a little note about summer. The
only thing I miss is sitting in a field
on a sunny day with my trainers off.

Over the summer I did this on many
occasions and I’m not sure why but it
just popped into my head.

Protected: [i saw a photo today and felt pretty much nothing out of the ordinary]

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[am i going downtown for halloween]

[fuck no, I'm going uptown with my
best friend Tommi]

[this is what I wore last year and I'm
thinking of doing it again this year,
but better]

[i'm also going to photoin an awesome
band, oh and if you were wondering
who i am amongst this lot, i'm the guy
in the bloodied up lab coat]

[more eye make up and blood this year
me thinks]

[actually to be honest, i'm going to
uptowns downtown, but hey, it's
better than downtowns uptown]

[oh oh oh, and i forgot the awesome
bit, i may actually get to wear it at
work 2morrow as well] [this is awesome
to me]