[funwithpolaroidsofpeoplewhoareawesome]

About two or three months ago whilst perusing the
overlooked boxes of the local charity I came across
a great little camera. A Polaroid Supercolour 635.
Basically a polaroid camera that takes the standard
600 film. Just in case you were unaware I had broken
my other Polaroid camera. [we dont talk about it]

So obviously I bought it. For about £3. Love it.

But I had to wait till I visited home earlier this
month because I hadn’t packed the film with me
and it is increasingly hard to get these days. So
whilst I was back I put some into my bag [to be
honest I should blog on my time back, oh well].

So, I had ten photographs left. I had the first one taken
whilst Andrew and I were in the Storm FM studio.
The second I took on Bangor Pier. And the third….

When you only have ten photos left in a camera
and with no idea where your next lot is coming
from or indeed if that next lot will ever come
about. You make sure the photos are worthwhile.

Title:
[fun with polaroids of people who are amazing]
Alt Titles:
[you're so cool I'd waste a polaroid on you]
[you're so cool, I'd actually waste a polaroid just have you in it]

[death list]

My death list consists of one item.

“All Fat Chicks”

they know who they are.

[absent minded]

There are some people that when they stare into
space for a period of time will remark that they
were thinking of nothing.

There are some people that when they stare into
space for a period of time will remark that they
were thinking of everything.

Either way it doesn’t mean that you’re gonna
find out what it is that they were thinking
about.

[this is also true]

[every road sign's a reminder of exactly why we do this to begin with]

I am in a very strange place right now. Even
though that strange place is home.

Now that I live in Bangor that word has become less than
exclusive. I am able to call both Wales and England home,
and it feels very strange. I’m kind of finding it hard to
describe.

When I’m in one place it feels like I’m missing
out on opportunities in the other place. I call
both places home but also feel slightly estranged
from both. Which also makes me think as to
what I’m going to do when this Bangor based
adventure ends.

Do I stay in Bangor? If I do, I would have to find
somewhere else to live which I suppose wouldn’t
be amazingly difficult but at the same time. I would
have ‘done’ Bangor if that makes sense. I would of have
had the experience of it, which is probably a better
way to say it.

Do I return to my hometown? And if I do this,
I would probably have to think about actually finding
a career for the rest of my life and sort that out. But
to me that seems incredibly boring. Incredibly.

Or just disappear again. To pop back to hometown
after I have to move out of Bangor and within a couple
of months slip away again to another place/country.

The thing about this is that I have the worse
habit of not actually telling people that I’m
going away. And for some reason I can that
as being one of my character flaws. But on
the other side of that. I NEED to see the world.

I can’t just say to myself at twenty-two years old that
where I am is where I am going to be forever.

I just can’t.

I’m pretty sure I know which one of the three it’s going to
be. And I’m pretty sure you do too.

It’s not often that a primarily good person has to
make the choice between being selfish or not.
And picks the road that leads to selfishness.

But the truth is I haven’t really got anything tying me
down to anywhere. Oh the joys of beings me. It’s ok
to be envious just so’s you know.

[so fragile we are. so fragile we are we just don't show it]

This is true.

I heard this line whilst listening to Gym Class Heroes song. And it
popped into my head that this is true. Well to me anyways, no
matter how fragile I may or may not feel people in general will
not have a clue because I rarely let people see that side to me.

The last time I can remember it happening was many
years ago. And I doubt it will be happening any time
soon, but, this doesn’t stop me being the person that’s
there when things go wrong.

I have seen the ‘fragile side’ shall we say of quite a few of the people
that I know and the strange thing is that I know for a fact that if
something went majorly for me, I would probably lie and say that
all is fine and devote some time to sorting it out on my own.

But hey, it stops people worrying about me, which is
what I like, I hate when people worry about me
because I always feel like they have better things to
be doing with there time.

I’m sure that one day I’ll grow out of this and allow myself
to be fragile with someone. But therein lies the rub, because
the moment I let myself enter that world of personal fragility
I will probably open my life to this person, everything that I
had always lied about, all the anxieties that I had ever had.
And that I’m sure I could never do.

Oh and the Gym Class Heroes song is ‘Shoot Down
The Stars’. It’s a good song, give it a listen.

[facebook status leads to poetry]

So having recently looked back on the haikus and
poems on this blog with Jeni I noticed something
quite worrying. It had been a while since  I had
posted any sort of poetry up and in that also realised
that it had been just as long since I had written a poem.

The problem is inspiration and not knowing what to write
about. I had actually forgotten this worrying thought when
this morning [whilst too tired to get out of bed] I updated
my status on Facebook. Just saying ‘tired’ and this led to
my flatmate commenting, and in the end resulted in me
making poetry.

I’m kinda happy about that.

In case you can’t read it, as it seems to have become bad quality
I’ll rewrite them.

Me –
I have a finite amount of days upon this mortal ride,
And it seems that sleep runs like a thief through my tired mind.
Stealing not gold nor items of much worth,
But only the time I have on this Earth.

Will –
But surely in sleep we discover our dreams,
Where mortal reality is ripped at the seams.
It is this that gives us our hopes and desires,
Till the day we march on to our own funeral pyres.

Me –
But with hopes and desires already considered,
There possibility having faded and withered.
Means that sleeps, the art of subtle realisation,
becomes nothing more that a practice in self deprecation.

I guess that poetic Richard is back.

[i've made alot of mistakes, I've made alot of mistakes]

This song is amazing, whether electric or acoustic.
Hope you enjoy. Oh and look back, I seem to be
churning out blog posts recently so there may be
some that you have missed.

Enjoy.

[a few people who are glad I'm a good person, haha]

[and these are the rules by which I play]

Ok so tonight has re-proved something that I
already knew, I should probably start the
story at the start.

I would describe myself as cheeky but with an underlying
sense or morals and decency that some would [and have]
define as being a gentlemen.

So this is why when a member of the opposite sex
is making a pass a few things need to taken into
consideration, the first is whether she has been
drinking and how much, if it is too much in
comparison to me, I would walk her to her friends
or walk her home to make sure she got back OK.

Secondly, you have to look into the eyes, it’s a strange thing
to just say as a sentence so I’ll put it into a scenario. I left
a local club called Time and on the walk home I put my music
in [it's actually a two minute walk, but I love my music] and
without realising it I was singing the Simon & Garfunkel song
‘The Sound Of Silence’ and whilst walking noticed a shadow
walking astride mine. So I popped back the hood of my flatmates
jacket and saw a girl giving me a cute smile saying

“I really liked your singing by the way”

Without a hint of sarcasm [which is what you would have expected
had you heard my voice] and that when I noticed what was in her
eyes. It was what I usually have in mine which is a hint of
romantasism. I know it sounds strange but it is true.

And that’s why I said thank you for your compliment
and kindly made my way down my road, I don’t know
what it was but it was that hint in her eye that made
me think that she|

[ok as I'm writing this I'm finding it hard to put my thoughts
into words, which is annoying, so I'm leaving that part open
which sadly means that this part of the post is
non-conclusionary and for that I apologise]

What I must say though is that Mum must have
done a good job.

[before I shuffle aside this mortal coil]

I have many realisations most days of the week, some are
quite benign and pointless [like for instance how vagina is
a strange word to say] and some with some more use, for
example, the life that is currently in my possession needs
to epic. This needs to be one of the best lives on record and
be so amazing that it appears on record. I know this sound
quite big headed, but like I’ve said before, these are my
thoughts and this is my blog and I will write whatever
happens when the two meet.

I see people everyday that have wasted the time that they have, or have
had, with sudden realisations that time is indeed running short. I don’t
know what it is but it actually saddens me that I may actually join these
vast ranks of people with lives of little experience. And the ways that I
can notice this, is by listening to the things that they have done in their
lives that they are most proud of. They never seem to have gone very
far for any lengthy period of time or explored in any way. And as some
of you may know…

This will never be me.

So over the next few weeks I am going to compose a list. Things to
do before I die. A bucket list if you will. I haven’t yet decided as to
whether this list will be composed of fifty items, one hundred or
even one hundred and fifty items. All I know is that it will be one
of the things in my life that I actually complete. Instead of leaving
half done like many, many things that I have started during my time
alive.

It also annoys me that I have all these things that I note
down ‘to-do’ but I never get around too, wasting time on
Facebook and such websites or doing literally nothing,
if I could change one thing about me it would be my lazy
nature. Oh and possibly to have a bit more of neck.

The progress of the ‘Things To Do Before I Die’ list will be charted
on another blog which I will create especially for the task of keeping
people abreast of the progress I am making [should they actually
care at all], I haven’t actually made the blog yet, as even I don’t
know the full details of the list. But when I have made it I will but
the link on here for all to see. There will be some ridiculous ones
on there and some quite mundane ones, but hey I’m gonna do
what I want. Because I feel like it.

[the coolest t-shirt I have ever owned]

I present to you, the offensive shirt.