[placing a lid on the past]

In life you find that there are times
that in retrospect everything suddenly
becomes clear to you. You look back
and realise that you were blind to
that one piece of the puzzle that
eluded you whilst being right there
in your face the whole time.

And then, you have times like this
where the situation is so clear it
hurts. Something big is going to
happen, but I’m not sure what.
I do have reasons for this, it’s
not random precognition, the
signs are all about.

Now over the past months my mind
was still set back in Bromley, and
although I have more than a slight
distaste for the place. It was the catylyst
for some of the major events of my
life in recent years.

It’s where I got my first photography
related job [Jessops]. It’s also where
I met people that had a massive and
profound impact on my life. But, I have
realised that for some reason things are
slowly disappearing from the Bromley
way.

The apologies I’ve received from my
exes and also the fact that one of my best
friends [that I met in Bromley if you hadn't
figured the connection] is moving out
of London.

It seems like the past is being placed
behind me and ushering something
new.

[MESSAGE TO RICK: NO WORRYS BABE,
I WILL STAY IN TOUCH. DON'T YOU
WORRY BOUT THAT BITCH, LOL XX]

[something to live by]

[one day it will all become awesome]

As people we spend alot of time waiting.
Waiting for that perfect life or romantic
situation to appear. The thing about
waiting is that you hardly find yourself
risking anything.

Most of the good things in life, or the
good things that happen in life or
have happened are the direct result
of taking a chance.

Now, I’m not talking, the rolling of
a dice chance, I’m talking about
taking that chance that scares you.
Usually, the more it scares you
the greater the rewards. And if
you take the time to think about
it, you’ll realise I’m right.

So why are people stuck in a rut?

Why when what I just said is
common knowledge are people
seeming to be taking less and
less chances these days. The
answer for this?

Fear of consequence my dears,
fear of consequence.

It’s a shitty truth, but it is a truth
none the less, and as I sit here
in front of my laptop I wonder why
I myself am in said rut and what
I am gonna do to get out of it.

Fuck all is what I’m gonna do,
at least for the moment, life is
OK, and I have no reason to change
it, but, saying this I am liable
to do something soon. All because
of a Bloc Party lyric. As silly as
it sounds. The lyrics is from the
song called ‘Waiting For The 7:18′

“If I could do it again, I’d make more
mistakes, I’d not be so scared of
falling. If I could do it again I’d
climb more trees, I’d pick and I’d
eat more wild, blackberries”

I don’t wanna feel like that when
I’m thirty.